31. Present

August 6, 2017

Photo: Death to the Stock Photo

Hello and happy August! Here’s what I’ve been up to this week…

Writing

Millennials, What Should We Kill Next?

And a review of my new favorite toothpaste!

Reading

I’m just about finished with The Soul of an Octopus: A Surprising Exploration into the Wonder of Consciousness and it’s really, really good! Definitely recommend.

Also:

Losing It in the Anti-Diet Age, The New York Times.

We Need to Talk About Digital Blackface in Reaction GIFs, Allure. This is so sharp.

How Do You Do Your Hair When You Only Have One Arm?, Racked.

Have Smartphones Destroyed a Generation?, The Atlantic. “Even when a seismic event—a war, a technological leap, a free concert in the mud—plays an outsize role in shaping a group of young people, no single factor ever defines a generation. Parenting styles continue to change, as do school curricula and culture, and these things matter. But the twin rise of the smartphone and social media has caused an earthquake of a magnitude we’ve not seen in a very long time, if ever. There is compelling evidence that the devices we’ve placed in young people’s hands are having profound effects on their lives—and making them seriously unhappy.” I normally hate this sort of hand-wringing about technology, but…woof.

Facebook’s Complicity in the Silencing of Black Women, Ijeoma Oluo on Medium. “My Facebook page is infested with racist hate and violent threats from people who are so angry that I would be nervous to be surrounded by them. And finally, Facebook decided to take action. What did they do? Did they suspend any of the people who threatened me? No. Did they take down Twitchy’s post that was sending hundreds of hate-filled commenters my way? No. They suspended me for three days for posting screenshots of the abuse they have refused to do anything about.”

Dear Men of “The Breakfast Club”: Trans Women Aren’t a Prop, Ploy, or Sexual Predators, Allure.

The Lost Cause Rides Again, The Atlantic. “Skepticism must be the order of the day. So that when Benioff asks ‘what would the world have looked like … if the South had won,’ we should not hesitate to ask what Benioff means by ‘the South.’ He obviously does not mean the minority of white Southern unionists, who did win. And he does not mean those four million enslaved blacks, whom the Civil War ultimately emancipated, yet whose victory was tainted. Comprising 40 percent of the Confederacy’s population, this was the South’s indispensable laboring class, its chief resource, its chief source of wealth, and the sole reason why a Confederacy existed in the first place. But they are not the subject of Benioff’s inquiry, because he is not so much asking about ‘the South’ winning, so much as he is asking about ‘the white South’ winning.”

Update: is the work environment I’ve created on my team too exclusive?, Ask a Manager. H…holy shit. (Please also do a search for “letter writer” on the original post so you can see their truly terrible comments there.)

They trashed their wedding photographer over a $125 fee, so a jury told them to pay her $1 million, Washington Post.

The Fiercely Precise World of Competitive Table-Setting, Atlas Obscura.

Rosé Is Exhausting, Eater. “The rosé train comes often and it is a comfortable ride.”

How Many Former Lawyers Work at Bethesda’s Williams-Sonoma?, Bethesda Magazine.

Grocery stores are adapting to more male shoppers — whom they treat like knuckleheads, The Washington Post. This article derailed one of my work Slack rooms for like an hour; everyone had a lot of feelings about it.

12 Ways Airports Are Secretly Manipulating You, Mental Floss. “Especially crucial is the ‘golden hour,’ the first 60 minutes spent beyond security, when passengers are ‘in a self-indulgent mood.’ The ‘golden hour’ is great, but two golden hours are even better. ‘One hour more at an airport is around $7 more spent per passenger.'” I found this super interesting, especially because I just got my first-ever airport manicure a couple weeks ago because I got through security really quickly and had two hours to spare before the flight.

Real Deal Summer Water, Kale & Caramel. Dang, this recipe looks fantastic. Planning to make it ASAP.

Buying

This notebook. I recently started using it for morning pages since the notebooks I’ve used in the past have all technically been too small. I just really love this brand for lined notebooks/journals; I was using this one before and it’s amazing; the pages are really amazing quality. The new one has slightly lower quality pages than the other one, but they are still very good.

Cherry blossom tea. So, motivated almost entirely by the stupidly beautiful kettles Amazon keeps showing me in their “new and interesting finds” section, I’ve decided to become a looseleaf tea person! I’m also trying to re-calibrate my relationship with social media/my phone and looking to create some new rituals/routines, and I thought drinking tea might be a good think to add to my list. Wayyyyyy back in the day, I used to get white berryblossom tea at Starbucks with a pump of vanilla and a little milk and it was so comforting and wonderful and such a nice afternoon treat. So that’s the flavor/vibe I’m chasing and I’m hoping this tea will do the trick! (I bought some vanilla syrup too.) I am holding off on buying a tea kettle until it gets colder/I actually commit to drinking tea regularly. I’ll keep you posted on how it goes! Also, if you have any good non-caffeinated looseleaf tea recommendations, HMU.

The week ahead…

Reclaiming my time

30. Roller coaster

July 30, 2017

Pleasure Pier by Matt Crump

Photo: Matt Crump

This week had so many ups and so many downs — once of which was that I did not make it to Six Flags this weekend as planned. Whomp whomp. But hey: my book is now out in the world and that’s pretty neat! Here’s what else I had going on…

Reading

I read Everyone’s a Aliebn When Ur a Aliebn Too on Kindle and loved it so much, I bought the hard copy for myself and bought one for my brother. I finished Too Fat, Too Slutty, Too Loud. And I read this review of Goodbye, Vitamin, immediately bought it, and finished it within 24 hours.

Also:

Online Dating Made This Woman a Pawn in a Global Crime Plot, Wired. This is so wild…like, way more than I expected. 

Why Judging The Poor Isn’t Actually Helping Anybody, Refinery29.

17 Debbie Downer Facts To Whip Out At The Next Party You Go To, BuzzFeed. 

How to Make a Movie Out of Anything — Even a Mindless Phone Game, The New York Times.

Advice About Sex for a College-Bound Girl, Design Mom. 

This Cheap Wine From Walmart Is Ranked as One of the Best in the World, PopSugar.

The X-Rated Furniture Of Catherine The Great Is Something You Need To See, BuzzFeed. 

The week ahead…

Still laughing about this video (watch with sound). 

29. Coast to coast

July 23, 2017

This week, I made a really fast trip to LA and back for work, and I’m feeling rather under the weather today. It’s just a loooong trip and that time change really fucks with me.

Anyway, here are some links!

Writing

Only A True Expert Can Get 11/15 On This Secret Service Code Name Quiz

Just 19 Fascinating Things About The Hair & Makeup On “GLOW”

I also posted the intro to my book here!

Reading

Real Men Might Get Made Fun Of, The New York Times. “‘Do you ever stick up for me?’ That question has been quietly nagging at my friendships with men since last fall when the ‘Access Hollywood’ tape tore through the news cycle. The sound of Billy Bush snickering as Donald Trump talked about women in the most dehumanizing terms was devastating in its ease, and in how little it surprised me. I know that my male friends are privy to those kinds of conversations, even if they don’t take part. I also know that some of them do take part. I know that they consider themselves to be good people who fundamentally care about women’s safety and equality. So, if you care, how often do you say something?”

R. Kelly Is Holding Women Against Their Will In A “Cult,” Parents Told Police, BuzzFeed.

It’s Never Been About R. Kelly. It’s Always Been About Black Girls, Bitch. “A culture that protects predatory Black men, in our families, at work, at church, comes at the expense of Black girls who deserve better. Sorry, but there’s not enough good music in the world to make me throw Black girls under the bus. There are so few people who are willing to fight for girls of color, especially Black girls, because interrogating the behavior of predatory Black men is much more difficult than simply telling a girl to put on more clothes or ‘stop being fast in the ass.'”

If You’re Still An R. Kelly Fan In 2017 You Might Be A Worse Person Than R. Kelly, VSB. “R. Kelly is who he is. A talented musician — a person actually considered by many to be the most talented contemporary musician — and a man who, for years, used his considerable wealth and influence and status to prey on young Black girls. And continues to do so.”

The Black Person’s Guide to Game of Thrones, The Root. (I have never seen Game of Thrones but I enjoyed this.)

Sheila Michaels, Who Helped Bring Honorific ‘Ms.’ To The Masses, Dies At 78, NPR. “They were roommates and lifelong friends: The black woman who fought to be called ‘Miss’ instead of condescended to as ‘Mary,’ and the white woman who pushed to be called ‘Ms.’ because it was nobody’s business if she was married.”

The Lawyer, the Addict, The New York Times.

Blood and Guts in High School: How Seventeen Made ‘Traumarama’, Jezebel.

Everybody lies: how Google search reveals our darkest secrets, The Guardian. This takes a little while to get going, but then it gets very good.

Magic Can Be Normal, Hazlitt.

American Airlines Seems to Be Gaslighting Its Employees Over Fashion, Racked.

The ‘Hide the Pain Harold’ meme model has no pain to hide, The Independent.

Why Are We So Unwilling to Take Sylvia Plath at Her Word?, LitHub. “I want to point out the cultural bias against women’s voices and the domestic truths of women’s lives and the deep role this has played in painting Plath as both a pathetic victim and a Cassandra-like, genius freak. It is only in a culture where these two things be claimed simultaneously that Hughes, a known philanderer and violent partner, can spend forty years botching the editing of, or outright destroying, his estranged, now dead wife’s work, then win every conceivable literary prize and be knighted by the Queen. It is only in this culture that Plath can tell of his abuse, in print, for the better part of the same 40 years, only to have the same reports in a handful of letters recognized as ‘shocking.’ And it is only in this culture that unseen letters detailing abuses as dreadful as a miscarriage induced by beating, and the expressed desire that one’s wife was dead, be described, without irony, as ‘tantalising.'”

Venus Williams, a Car Accident, and the Outrageous Police Response, The Nation.

Home Delivery! What Will They Think of Next?, The New York Times.

Why is hyperfemininity expected of fat women?, Dazed.

We Found Him, The Worst Person On Earth, Deadspin. “‘Honestly, yeah it’s terrible,’ Paul said about his neighbors’ complaints. ‘It’s a bad situation. No, I feel bad for them, for sure. There’s nothing we can do, though. The Jake Paulers [Paul’s fans] are the strongest army out there. Dab.’ And then he dabbed.”

Listening to

This fantastic episode of Revisionist History.

This wild first date story (the whole podcast is good, but the date story starts at 29:55).

The week ahead…

I’m just so glad to be home!

Sneak peek: Dot Journaling—A Practical Guide

July 20, 2017

Dot Journaling—A Practical Guide

My book, Dot Journaling—A Practical Guide, is coming out on July 31! If you’re interested, here’s a preview of the book’s intro.

◦ ◦ ◦

I started my first diary when I was nine years old and in fourth grade. Onward through middle school, high school, college, and my early twenties, I wrote almost every single day, filling notebook after notebook with my thoughts and observations. (And my crushes. So many crushes.) I also used a physical plan­ner and wrote out my to-do list every single day, long after apps and websites made both unnecessary.

But in the second half of my twenties, my diary writing slowed down, then ground to a halt. Part of this happened because I was writing as my full-time job, plus keeping a blog. But I was also sharing my thoughts with my friends via texts, instant messages, and emails all day, and I didn’t feel like rewrit­ing everything in a notebook at night. And though I still wrote out to-do lists every day in a steno pad, it wasn’t a habit that I did with a sense of intention, or that gave me any real sense of joy.

So, this is where I was in my journaling ~journey~ when I came to dot journaling a couple years ago. I first read about something called a “Bullet Journal” on my friend Jessica’s blog in December 2015, and was intrigued. Initially, I assumed it was some sort of new diary or planner to buy—and I thought, Great, I love buying new things! But when I went to the official website run by its creator, Ryder Carroll, I just got confused. Not only was it not something to buy, I couldn’t understand what, exactly, it was. When I heard “journal,” I thought “diary,” but this seemed like it was a . . . to-do list? And also a . . . calen­dar? Or . . . something? There were bullet points involved, and also a lot of words and phrases that I didn’t recognize, along with photos of incredibly simple journal pages that seemed to have very little in common with the elaborate, creative, beau­tiful pages I was seeing on Instagram—pages that were also, somehow (apparently?), from Bullet Journals. It seemed like a lot of people were using dot-grid journals to do . . . whatever it was they were doing, but that type of paper didn’t appear to be a requirement. I couldn’t figure out what the rules were, or exactly what the point was, either. Eventually, I gave up.

But after asking around and discovering that my friends had also been hearing about this new type of journal and also couldn’t understand what it was, I became determined to fig­ure it out. Turns out, Bullet Journaling is an incredibly simple concept that is remarkably difficult to explain, in part because “you do you” is such a major aspect of it—meaning everyone does it a little differently, and there are no real rules. And, over time, the Internet has transformed the basic idea—using sim­ple symbols and dot-grid journals to record the things that matter most—into what I’ve come to think of as “dot journaling” . . . aka, a creative, colorful, robust, and—listen, take this with a large grain of salt—Pinteresty version of the original concept.

I started dot journaling on January 1, 2016, and I quickly fell in love. It was exactly what I hadn’t realized I needed: a single notebook that incorporated my to-do lists, helped me stay organized, served as a fun creative outlet, and led me back to my roots as a diarist—I was thrilled to discover that I had no problem writing in it every single day. And in this book, I’ll show you how to get started dot journaling, and how to make it a habit (or an addiction?) for you, too.

◦ ◦ ◦

You can enter to win a copy of the book, a blank dot-grid journal, and a bunch of other amazing journaling supplies here (the winner will be chosen on July 31), and pre-order from Amazon, Barnes & Noble, IndieBound, Books-a-Million, Workman, or Powell’s.

28. Out

July 16, 2017

Encyclopedia of Rainbows: Our World Organized by Color by Julie Seabrook Ream, published by Chronicle Books 2017

Photo: Encyclopedia of Rainbows: Our World Organized by Color by Julie Seabrook Ream, published by Chronicle Books 2017

I was off all week purging and cleaning the hell out of my apartment so I don’t have anything for you tonight; I’ll be back next week! 

27. I hope you’re somewhere praying

July 9, 2017

Pastel Pacific by Matt Crump

Photo: Matt Crump

Hi, guys. Here’s what I was up to this week when I wasn’t listening to Kesha’s new single on repeat…

Reading

4:43, Candice Benbow. “I saw the best in you. I nurtured it, pruned it, watched it grow. And now someone else gets to sit in the field of my flowers. I can’t even fault her though. I’m sure our stories are similar. I’m sure, before you, there was one who robbed her of hope too. I’m sure he allowed her to invest in him with no intention of ever offering a return. So, I can’t even be mad. They say when one of us wins, all of us do. I mean…I guess. I just hope she knows where to offer gratitude. Because the man you are now doesn’t exist without me — that’s the legacy. And it’s a damn shame. I long for the day when a woman’s strength isn’t measured by how much shit she takes from a man.”

Black Women Writers and the Secret Space of Diaries, The New Yorker.

“How do I have the ‘is this a real relationship?’ talk with someone without messing up the relationship?”, Captain Awkward. “DON’T STARTLE THE WILD MALE HUMAN.”

And Chief Justice Roberts’ words for grads.

The week ahead…

Doing some (extremely belated) spring cleaning!

26. Glow up

July 2, 2017

Hello, holiday weekenders! It’s July, which means my book is coming out in a few short weeks! I just finished watching the Netflix series GLOW (it took several episodes to grow on me, and ultimately I liked — but didn’t love — it) and am now seriously contemplating living the workout leotard life. Anyway, please enjoy the above photo of my grandma (in the midst of some kind of summer romance she refused to tell me much about except that the man who took the photo picked her up at the grocery store where she worked, and that she didn’t tell her mother because “he wasn’t Catholic”) and these links!

Writing

25 Things Men Can Finally Do

I also worked on this video.

Reading

Report: Black girls thought to need less protection, AP. “These findings show that pervasive stereotypes of black women as hypersexualized and combative are reaching into our schools and playgrounds and helping rob black girls of the protections other children enjoy.”

I Don’t Know How To Explain To You That You Should Care About Other People, The Huffington Post. “Personally, I’m happy to pay an extra 4.3 percent for my fast food burger if it means the person making it for me can afford to feed their own family. If you aren’t willing to fork over an extra 17 cents for a Big Mac, you’re a fundamentally different person than I am.”

How a Joke Becomes a Meme: The Birth of ‘Milkshake Duck’, The New York Times.

A Circular History of Circle Jerks and A Cultural History of Men Sucking Their Own Dicks, MEL Magazine.

How Wrestling Explains Alex Jones and Donald Trump, The New York Times.

Hi, Please Don’t Call Something a ‘Pant’ If You Mean ‘Pants’, Racked.

MTV News: The Good, the Bad, and the Contradictions of an Ill-Fated Experiment, Spin.

Being Pretty Is a Privilege, But We Refuse to Acknowledge It, Allure.

David Bouhadana Has a Problem, and We Need to Talk About It, Eater.

The $2 Meal That Changed My Budget, A Cup of Jo. This is the second time I’ve heard about this salad in the past couple of weeks.

After the president’s tweet, I must withdraw my support for everything but his agenda, The Washington Post. “His remark about Mika Brzezinski is absolutely shameful and I do not stand with him, except insofar as it is necessary to stand with him so that we can make sure infants get access to pesticides, as the Founders would have wished.”

Just A Bunch Of “Bachelorette” Moments That Will Make You Laugh, Even If You Don’t Watch The Show, BuzzFeed.

Don’t Light My Expensive Candles. Ever., ELLE.com. “‘But Sally, aren’t candles supposed to be lit?’ You might ask, head tilted. No, not SIXTY-FIVE DOLLAR CANDLES, FRIEND. Sixty-five dollar candles are meant to be admired, sniffed, dreamt about, saved for special occasions that would never actually come because what occasion could possibly be special enough for a $65 candle?” It me.

How to Be a Contemporary Writer, Roxane Gay. An oldie but a goodie.

And this poem.

Loving

This Alex Jones remix, these sweaters, this music video, and Piers Morgan’s lack of self-awareness.

The week ahead…

God bless America.

25. The end is nigh

June 25, 2017

Photo: Encyclopedia of Rainbows: Our World Organized by Color by Julie Seabrook Ream, published by Chronicle Books 2017

Running Disaster Week at BuzzFeed kept me very busy this week! Then on Thursday, we had an actual disaster when the NYC office had a bed bugs scare, and everyone lost their damn minds. Every Slack was in rare form. Meanwhile, that afternoon (while working from home), I edited a post about the Babadildo, a post about body decomposition (“Your body’s orifices provide a moist home for maggots to hatch — basically becoming a lil’ fly motel”), and a post about something called a meatus (spoiler: it’s part of the peen! don’t Google it!), one right after another. It was quite a day (it felt like a very strange dream), and just…quite a week! 

Here’s more of what I was up to…

Writing

Welcome To The Worst Week Ever!

25 Simple Meals You Can Make When Your Life Is In Shambles

25 Creative Hobbies To Try When Everything Is Awful And You’re Not Okay

Why Venmo Is My Favorite Sympathy Card

Editing*

*A partial list

The World Is Ending, Just As It’s Always Been (You should read all of these, but definitely read this one.)

I’m Terrible, Thanks For Asking 

I Style Dead People

This Is What It’s Like To Work With The World’s Deadliest Pathogens Every Day

If You Get 9/9 On This Quiz, You Should Travel Back In Time And Be A Doctor

Here’s Exactly What You Should Keep Around In Case Disaster Strikes

This Is What It’s Like To Be On Call For Disaster

If You Can Make It Through This Quiz, You Might Just Survive The Apocalypse

Reading

How to Talk About Suicide on Father’s Day, Gawker. “Usually, casual background questions come from people I barely know. Often in group settings. And because I’ve found the topic of suicide to be a poor icebreaker, generally speaking, I panic. I sidestep. The longer I put off talking about it, the harder and weirder it feels when I finally (if I ever) bring it up. So it best goes unsaid.”

I Feel Like I Live in Somebody Else’s Body, Racked. “People also tell me to savor this time. ‘I hope you’re enjoying it!’ they say as my son goes all passive-resistance on me, collapsing into a boneless puddle on the floor while I’m trying to put on his coat. ‘They will only be this young once.’ I know. But I want to say, ‘So will I.'” This is beautiful.

Facebook Banned Me For Writing “N*gger” In A Piece About Racism, While Emails Calling Me “N*gger” Still Sit In My Inbox, VSB.

#969 Moderation Mop-Up, continued, because people are still emailing me their thoughts about how a fellow human being should manage her own body., Captain Awkward.

Sofia Coppola’s ‘The Beguiled’ Controversy and What We Expect From White Directors, The Daily Beast.

The Speculative Dread of Black Mirror, The New Yorker.

Lenny Pozner Used to Believe in Conspiracy Theories. Until His Son’s Death Became One., New York Magazine.

Jon Ossoff Was Always Going To Lose, MTV.com.

Amanda Weaver on the costumes in Wonder Woman.

My application to replace Sean Spicer, The Washington Post.

And this, from Lainey Gossip.

The week ahead…

TBH, I am just very tired.

24. They do not deserve you

June 18, 2017

Art: Mary Purdie

Hi, pals! Last week was a busy one for me so it’s a short list today…

Writing

What Creative Hobbies Got You Through A Difficult Time?

Editing

26 Stories That Prove Dads Must Be Protected At All Costs

Reading

‘God Help America’: Philando Castile’s Girlfriend Speaks Out After Cop’s Acquittal, Huffington Post. Make sure you watch the video of his mother speaking.

Stop Pretending You’re Not Rich, The New York Times. “On the one hand, upper-middle-class Americans believe they are operating in a meritocracy (a belief that allows them to feel entitled to their winnings); on the other hand, they constantly engage in antimeritocratic behavior in order to give their own children a leg up. To the extent that there is any ethical deliberation, it usually results in a justification along the lines of ‘Well, maybe it’s wrong, but everyone’s doing it.'”

To understand white liberal racism, read these private emails, KUOW.

How Kim Kardashian Pushed The Boundaries Of Celebrity Pregnancy, BuzzFeed. This is excellent. It’s an excerpt from my coworker/friend’s new book, which I pre-ordered immediately after reading this.

‘Gwyneth glows like a radioactive swan’ – my day at the Goop festival, Lindy West for The Guardian.

In Her Shoes: Finding Feminism, Cynicism, And Geena Davis At A Walmart Soda Counter In Arkansas, MTV.com.

Paradise Lost: The Other Side of Reality TV, Jezebel.

‘Black Panther’ Costume Designer Talks Inspiration, Activism, and Black Lives Matter, ELLE.

17 Little Things I Did To Have An Easier Pregnancy, BuzzFeed. This is just a great post.

17 Tiny Changes That Would Actually Make The US The Best Country In The World, BuzzFeed.

Some Earnest Questions About the Butthole, Answered, Jezebel.

Buying

Perfume samples! So, like year ago I read this post about Le Labo Santal 33 and have been meaning to check it out ever since, but I just never got around to it because the store isn’t in an area I go to regularly. Fast-forward to two weeks ago, when I was in LA. As soon as David got in the car for our outing, I was like, “Uhhhhh you smell fucking amazing.” He told me he was wearing Le Labo Bergamote 22, so I decided to order samples of both Le Labo fragrances on this (ridiculously named and, uh, sparsely designed) website. I really like them both; 22 is a little more flowery than 33 (and is a bit stronger) and is something I’ll probably save for dressier occasions. Meanwhile, 33 is as good as that original post I read makes it sound. Here’s how Le Labo describes it:

“Do you remember the old Marlboro ads? A man and his horse in front of the fire on a great plain under tall, blue evening skies…

A defining image of the spirit of the American West with all it implied about masculinity and personal freedom. 
This man, firelight in his face, leaning on the worn leather saddle, alone with the desert wind, an icon so powerful that every man wanted to be him and every woman wanted to have him… 
From this memory is born SANTAL 33: the ambition to create an olfactive form inspired by the great American myth still a source of fantasy for the rest of the world…
 A perfume that touches the sensual universality of this icon… that would intoxicate a man as much as a woman… that introduces our use of cardamom, iris, violet, ambrox which crackle in the formula and bring to this smoking wood alloy (Australian sandalwood, papyrus, cedarwood) some spicy, leathery, musky notes, and gives this perfume its unisex signature and addictive comfort. 
Here is, in a few words, what SANTAL 33 is… An open fire… The soft drift of smoke… Where sensuality rises after the light has gone.”

That is…not *exactly* how I’d describe it, or how I feel when I’m wearing it, but I do really like it! It’s very woodsy/grassy/earthy and has a decidedly more masculine vibe than 22 (and most fragrances for women, for that matter) but it’s also really clean and just smells good. I’m way into it.

The week ahead…

Running a theme week on BuzzFeed!

23. City of angels

June 11, 2017

I spent this week in L.A. and I can’t say I was a huge fan!!! Like, it was fine, but my hotel legit made me feel like I was in between training sessions for the Hunger Games, and the time difference straight fucked me up. Not like I was jet lagged…but because my brain could not process the idea that everyone I know was experiencing the world three hours ahead of me. It just did not compute. The highlight of my trip was seeing my (sort of) long-lost BFF David. I haven’t seen him in 5-8 years (which is WILD), but it was sort of stunning to me how little it felt like had changed (even though so many things have changed). Like, I am still me, and he is still him, we are still us, and our night out was short but also kind of magical.

Here’s what else I had going on this week…

Writing

Why you shouldn’t raise children to be racially “colorblind”

Tell Us The Simple Meals You Relied On During A Rough Time In Your Life

Also, you can read my review of the Done app here.

Editing

Here’s How To Raise Race-Conscious Children

The Internet Has Made The Babadook Our New Queer Icon And Just, Yes

Reading

This Is Not About Laci Green, Patheos. This is a really, really good post about being a good ally and also just apologies in general.

The NYT Crossword Is Old and Kind of Racist, The Outline. I was cringing so hard reading this.

The Gospel According to Glennon, ELLE.

The Long, Winding Tale of Sperm Science, Smithsonian Magazine.

The Story Behind the Woman Who Made WWI Masks Just Like Doctor Poison Wears, Jezebel.

‘Friends’ Costume Designer Looks Back on 10 Seasons of Weddings, Racked. I didn’t really even watch Friends but this was fascinating.

The Struggles of Being a Fat Bridesmaid, Racked.

Weddings of the 0.01 Percent, Racked.

What’s the Difference Between a Coffin and a Casket?, Mental Floss. I’m so glad this post exists — seeing people mix these up is one of my biggest language pet peeves!

Block people and pretend they died., bitches gotta eat.

I also read The Residence on my flight to LA and I really enjoyed it! It’s a (mostly) light and totally fascinating read. Very good non-fiction beach read.

Watching

The new season of Kimmy Schmidt (not great so far tbh), two documentaries (The Unknowns and Mommy Dead and Dearest), and part of the live-action Beauty and the Beast (on the plane and it was SO BAD OMG).

Loving

These behind the scenes photos of Wonder Woman‘s Amazons, this video, and this baby.

The week ahead…

Just happy to be back on my own turf!

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