02. Trash talk

January 15, 2017

This week, the President-Elect of the United States called my place of employment a “failing pile of garbage” which is…a first. Here’s what else I got up to!


“The Bachelor” Episode 2: Hold My Boobs

There’s A Sexy Spider-Man Boudoir Shoot And Holy Crap, I’m Blushing


Inside Putin’s Information War, Politico.

Warning: Abortion’s Deadly DIY Past Could Soon Become Its Future, NY Mag. And OH LOOK AT THAT: A National Version of the ‘Heartbeat Bill’ Was Just Introduced in the U.S. House.

Craven Reporters Scold BuzzFeed For Reporting News, Deadspin.

Jared Kushner’s Rise to Unimaginable Power, NY Mag.

Neanderthals Were People, Too, The New York Times Magazine.

How Albert Woodfox Survived Solitary, The New Yorker.

What the Investigation Into the Chicago Police Department Found, The Atlantic.

4Chan Claim About Inventing Trump Pissgate Report Is Complete Bullshit, Gizmodo.

About that Explosive Trump Story: Take a Deep Breath, Lawfare.

For the Forgotten African-American Dead, The New York Times.

Putin: The Rule of the Family, New York Review of Books.

Clare Hollingworth, reporter who broke news about start of World War II, dies at 105, The Washington Post.

Domestic violence accounted for nearly one-third of Utah homicides in 2016, The Salt Lake Tribune.

21 Little Everyday Changes To Make Your 2017 Even Better, BuzzFeed.

The Life-Changing Magic of Decluttering in a Post-Apocalyptic World, The New Yorker. It’s like this was made specifically for me.


Good Girls Revolt, Hidden Figures, this tweet, Seth Meyers interviewing Kellyanne Conway, Obama and Luther’s Farewell Address, and Ta-Nehisi Coates, Rebecca Traister, Chris Hayes, and Sherrilyn Ifill talking about politics. (Seriously, I loved every second of this hour-long segment. It’s great.)

The week ahead…

It’s gonna be a doozy. I’ll be in D.C.!

01. New year, who dis?

January 8, 2017

Death to the Stock Photo

Hello and welcome to 2017, the year I’ve resolved to give this post a unique title each week. Let’s get right to it — because I haven’t done my standard round-up in two weeks, this one’s kind of a long one!


21 Mesmerizing Winter Gifs That’ll Make You Feel Warm Inside

Screw It, Let’s Watch A Hot Knife Slice Through Some Inanimate Objects

24 Minimalist Bullet Journal Layouts That’ll Get You Hard

8 Tips For Anyone Who Wants To Learn Calligraphy And Hand-Lettering

15 Gifs That Are Basically Porn For People Who Love Paint

15 Products That’ll Make You Actually Look Forward To Second Semester

8 Creative Hobbies To Take Up In 2017

“The Bachelor” Season 21, Episode 1: Dolphinately Here For The Right Reasons

23 Moments That Basically Every Bridesmaid Has Experienced

17 Leftovers You’re Probably Eating Wrong

19 Products To Help You Take Your Bullet Journal To The Next Level


The Worst Year Ever, Until Next Year, The New Yorker. “This year is not the worst ever. What hurts so badly right now, I think, is this sense of unexpected retrenchment—the fear that decades of incremental progress will be rapidly eradicated by an empty-headed demagogue who appears to be doing everything on a whim. Perhaps 2016 feels so terrible partly because so many of us felt like we’d come so far.”

Dressing the Women in Blue, Racked. I find it so weird that I’ve never seen any “Blue Lives Matter” folks demanding that all female officers get uniforms and bulletproof vests that are actually made to fit their bodies. HUH SO WEIRD. 

100 Tweets That Made Women Piss Themselves With Laughter In 2016, BuzzFeed. God, these are all so good.

Inside Ivanka and Tiffany Trump’s Complicated Sister Act, Vanity Fair.

Another, more beautiful America is rising. Trump will be resisted, The Guardian.

The Man Who Cleans Up After Plane Crashes, GQ. This story is intense but really, really good.

The Year in Unsolicited Advice, Hazlitt. “Moisturize your body heavily and don’t look at the Instagram accounts of people you don’t like. That’s basically all you can do.”

The Year in Plagues, Hazlitt.

Inside The Million-Dollar Get-Rich Doula Clique, BuzzFeed. 

What if a President Loses Control?, The New Yorker.


David Fahrenthold tells the behind-the-scenes story of his year covering Trump, The Washington Post.

Trump national security pick Monica Crowley plagiarized multiple sources in 2012 book, CNN.

I’ve left Twitter. It is unusable for anyone but trolls, robots and dictators, Lindy West for The Guardian. “I’m pretty sure ‘ushered in kleptocracy’ would be a dealbreaker for any other company that wanted my business. If my gynaecologist regularly hosted neo-Nazi rallies in the exam room, I would find someone else to swab my cervix. If I found out my favourite coffee shop was even remotely complicit in the third world war, I would — bare minimum — switch coffee shops; I might give up coffee altogether.”

Tacky, Midnight Breakfast. “‘Tacky,’ is, of course, a signal that you are losing the race, a way of policing people—and particularly women—by letting them know that they are decidedly outside the bounds. The rules are invisible and unspoken, and you have broken one. Tackiness is a reminder of an ambient atmosphere of judgment: the unseen eyes flinching at the sight of you, the quiet, barely perceived tut-tutting.”

Loved ones of people killed in 2016 carry more than 750 crosses down Magnificent Mile, Chicago Tribune.

Becoming Ugly, Jezebel. “We’ve been told time and time again that prettiness and likability will protect us from harm, that to be good women, we must play by these rules, but this is a lie. Nothing will protect us except for ourselves—and what’s more fortifying than a defensive exterior? There are days when all I want is to become a human road sign, a blinking hazard to any man misfortunate enough to cross my path: ‘I WANT TO OFFEND YOUR SIGHT. I WANT TO OFFEND YOUR EVERYTHING.'”

A slave mother’s love in 56 carefully stitched words, KUOW.

A Guide to Hatchimals, The New Yorker.

The Teen’s Guide to the Trump Presidency, The New York Times.

‘Eat a Bag of Dicks’: An Origin Story, MEL Magazine. “They say necessity is the mother of invention; at some point, it’s obvious that we as a society simply realized that telling someone to suck or eat one dick was no longer an adequate insult. We needed to go bigger. To solve the problem, we did some simple math: If instructing someone to suck or eat one dick was a solid sick burn, then surely sucking or eating several dicks, presumably all at once, was even sicker. Problem was, dicks don’t bundle themselves, and a phrase was born.”

We Rewatched The First Season Of “The Bachelor,” And Holy Shit, You Guys, BuzzFeed.

The 30 Most Important Cats Of 2016, BuzzFeed. You will not regret clicking on this.

Marion Pritchard, Dutch rescuer of Jewish children during the Holocaust, dies at 96, The Washington Post.

The story of a courageous WWII hero who saved 2,500 lives, Mackenzi Lee on Twitter.

Patagonia Catalogue Copy Revised to Better Reflect My Lifestyle, McSweeney’s.

Charged a Fee for Getting Arrested, Whether Guilty or Not, The New York Times. Ugggghhhhhhh.

A Friendship for a More Tolerant America, The New Yorker.

To Understand Pizzagate, It Helps to Understand Cults, NY Mag.

If You’re in the Fight, Get Ready to Do the Work, Dame Magazine.

Debbie Reynolds’ Legendary Gossip Game, BuzzFeed.

True Story: I’m 36 + I Live With My Sisters, Yes and Yes.

All the Buzzy, Prestige Dramas Guys Won’t Shut Up About Are Just Manifestations of the Male Id, Glamour. “The same way that a snob might peer down their nose at the diner who orders the wrong wine and the athlete brushes off the imp who can’t lift, the cool guy is taken aback, aghast, personally offended as he asks, ‘What do you mean you aren’t watching [show]?’ It only furthers my resolve to stay away from [show] forever. Besides which, so often, the hype is unmerited. Ahem, True Detective.” 

33 Things That Were Originally Called Something Completely Different, BuzzFeed. This is WILD!

Letter of Recommendation: Grandma’s Teenage Diaries, The New York Times. This is delightful.

100 Tweets That Prove Black Twitter Was The Real MVP Of 2016, BuzzFeed. I laughed out loud multiple times.

Hipsters Broke My Gaydar, The New York Times.

21 Tumblr Jokes About Boyfriends To Make You Laugh, BuzzFeed. 


This illustrator, Chargaux (seriously, have been listening to them all weekend), these teens’ dance moves, 3% on Netflix (inspired by this post), this incredible butchering of a simple phrase, this tweet and this one, A 2016 Retrospect As Depicted With Wigs, and the NEWS TO ME that you get six months free of The Washington Post with Amazon Prime and then it’s just $4/month after that!

The week ahead…

Same old thing: work, hanging out, journaling, wearing two pairs of socks and still not being able to feel my toes, etc.

Wake up and fight.

January 1, 2017

woody guthrie new years rulins

Singer Woody Guthrie wrote this list of “New Year’s Rulins” in his diary on Jan. 1, 1943. More than 70 years later, they’re still pretty relevant.

1. Work more and better

2. Work by a schedule

3. Wash teeth if any

4. Shave

5. Take bath

6. Eat good — fruit — vegetables — milk

7. Drink very scant if any

8. Write a song a day

9. Wear clean clothes — look good

10. Shine shoes

11. Change socks

12. Change bed clothes often

13. Read lots good books

14. Listen to radio a lot

15. Learn people better

16. Keep rancho clean

17. Don’t get lonesome

18. Stay glad

19. Keep hoping machine running

20. Dream good

21. Bank all extra money

22. Save dough

23. Have company but don’t waste time

24. Send Mary and kids money

25. Play and sing good

26. Dance better

27. Help win war — beat fascism

28. Love mama

29. Love papa

30. Love Pete

31. Love everybody

32. Make up your mind

33. Wake up and fight

The best things I read in 2016

December 23, 2016

Photo: Death to the Stock Photo

2016 produced a lot of great Internet, a sampling of which I’ve rounded up below. Tell your Pocket to gird its loins! (FYI, all the links will automatically open in a new tab.)

Here Is The Powerful Letter The Stanford Victim Read Aloud To Her Attacker, BuzzFeed. This is, without question, the most moving thing I read this year.

What to do when you’re not the hero any more, NewStatesman. This was published in late December 2015, but I’m including it anyway because 1) I read it in January, 2) things published in December never make it on any best-of lists, and 3) it’s just so damn good and really stuck with me.

I’m a Previvor, Catapult.

The Funny Thing About Abusive Relationships, NY Mag.

St. Teresa and the Single Ladies, The New York Times.

What To Expect When You’re Expecting The Collapse Of Society As We Know It, BuzzFeed.

About Writing While Loving Blackness and Hurting White Feelings, Awesomely Luvvie.

Ask Polly: Why Did My Dream Man Dump Me?, New York Magazine.

How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Get in Formation, Seven Scribes.

Why Everyone on TV Has the Same Hair, Racked.

Chris Christie’s wordless screaming, Washington Post.

What it’s like to be that fat person sitting next to you on the plane., Future Travel.

Out Here, No One Can Hear You Scream, Highline.

The Reckoning, Texas Monthly. This story is…remarkable, truly. I wept a lot

The Vast Bay Leaf Conspiracy, The Awl.

The rise of American authoritarianism, Vox.

On Race, Good Intentions, and the Benefit of the Doubt, The Toast.

The Secret Shame of Middle-Class Americans, The Atlantic.

How Blac Chyna Beat The Kardashians At Their Own Game, BuzzFeed. This…made me interested in the Kardashians for the first time ever.

Hillary Clinton’s Campaign Was Never Going to Be Easy. But Did It Have to Get This Hard?, New York Magazine.

A Renegade Muscles In on Mister Softee’s Turf, The New York Times.

How to Cover Donald Trump Fairly: A Style Guide, The Washington Post.

Princess for a Day, Disney Bride for Life, Racked.

Hunger Makes Me, Hazlitt.

The Audition, The Stranger.

Our Fancy Foods, Ourselves, Eater.

Am I Going to Write About Murdered Black People Forever?, Jezebel.

I’m proud to announce that I was the one who bought George Zimmerman’s gun. And once I destroy it there will be only four Trump horcruxes left., McSweeney’s.

Why Do So Many Men Whisper ‘Hey’ After Fucking You?, Jezebel.

The Rabidly-Followed Leggings Brand You Can Only Buy on Facebook, Racked.

Today’s Vagenda, Sara Schaefer on Medium.

When Will New York City Sink?, New York Magazine.

Marie Kondo and the Ruthless War on Stuff, The New York Times Magazine.

My Four Months as a Private Prison Guard: A Mother Jones Investigation, Mother Jones.

Ask a Former Drunk: How Do You Start Sobriety?, Jezebel.

When My Grandkids Ask Me What I Did to Fight American Fascism, I’ll Proudly Tell Them I Tweeted a Few Times., McSweeney’s.

The Uber Killer: The Real Story of One Night of Terror, GQ.

‘The Arrangements’: A Work of Fiction, The New York Times.

A Celebration of the Beautiful, Lightly Deranged PR Emails We Get From Period Undie-Makers Thinx, Jezebel. Update: Chelsea has left Thinx! She sent a good-bye email to all her ~squirrelfranz~ (myself included) a couple weeks ago. 

Why Am I So Fat?, Sara Benincasa on Medium.

This election isn’t just Democrat vs. Republican. It’s normal vs. abnormal., Vox.

The 24-Year-Old Coca-Cola Virgin, Eater.

No, I’m from New York, The New Yorker. 

He Had His Reasons, Granta. (Note: graphic descriptions of domestic violence.)

Ask Polly: Why Do Women Obsess About Babies and Fertility?, New York Magazine.

Baltimore vs. Marilyn Mosby, The New York Times Magazine. This is just…grim.

How to Be a Writer: 10 Tips from Rebecca Solnit, Literary Hub. I should set an iPhone reminder to read this every Sunday.

Hillary Clinton for President, The New York Times.

A Closer Look at Debate Makeup, Racked.

“You Girls Having Fun?”, Eater.

Ted Cruz and his conscience amicably part ways, The Washington Post.

This is Not My Beautiful House, Kim France on Medium.

Donald Trump, Shamer in Chief, The Nation.

I Was Pregnant, And Then I Wasn’t, BuzzFeed.

Children Don’t Always Live, The New York Times.

A Time for Refusal, The New York Times. 

How Trump Made Hate Intersectional, New York Magazine.

White nationalists? Alt-right? If you see a Nazi, say Nazi, The Guardian. 

On Rural America: Understanding Isn’t The Problem, Forsetti’s Justice.

That Time I Almost Stabbed A Couple Rednecks Who Saw My Headwrap And Assumed I Was Muslim, VerySmartBrothas.

Now Is the Time to Talk About What We Are Actually Talking About, The New Yorker.

Happy reading!

The best things I wrote in 2016

December 22, 2016

It’s been a trash year, but amidst all that, I did manage to do some work that I’m proud of! So if you don’t mind me getting meta (and bragging) for a moment, here are my favorite things I published in 2016…

WTF Is A Bullet Journal And Why Should You Start One? An Explainer + Here’s How To Use A Bullet Journal For Better Mental Health. The first post was actually pretty challenging to write and to figure out photos/art for; bullet journaling is so simple to do but surprisingly hard to explain. But it performed better than I expected, and people still link to it as a “start here” post, which I take as a huge compliment. I also know that it put bullet journaling on a lot of people’s radars — both average people and media outlets — and inspired a good number of people to start bullet journaling. The mental health post also took a while (though this time I wisely made the decision to have one of our photographers shoot the photos), and because it was basically aiming to reach a niche of a niche audience, I didn’t expect it to do that well, but thought it was worth doing anyway. But! It now has more than 750K views, which is wild, considering the narrow focus. Plus, the feedback we got on it was so wonderful!

Wedding Etiquette Rules Every Grown-Ass Adult Should Know. This post was Terri’s idea, and so much credit is due to her — she really did the heavy lift here — but I am proud of the things I contributed and did to shape it, and I love the final product a lot. (I’m also just so proud of her, my first — and, until this week, only! — direct report, and my shining star.)

In Defense Of Cottage Cheese. This was just really fun, and I was able to turn it around pretty quickly, which felt good, as I am a bit out of shape in that regard. (Me every time I try to write something quickly these days: *hands on knees, breathing heavily* I used to be a blogger back in my day…till I got that injury senior year…)

For Everyone Who’s Ever Loved Someone Who Loves Sports. I will never not be proud of having written a rhyming poem. I had actually been trying forever to write something kind of ranty about how I feel about men and sports and nothing was really working…and then one day I had the sort of weird thought that maybe if I started writing it as a poem it would help me push through the writers block. (I…do not know why I had that thought??) Anyway, it worked! Working on this was also when I realized that I could write fiction — like, that there is a specific type of writing where you have permission to make things up, which had simply never occurred to me. This was…actually sort of an important realization!

My Food Diary, Re-Written by a Celebrity Features Writer. This idea has been in my head for years, and I finally sat down and wrote it! It was also on The Hairpin, which is neat!

I Tried The Hipster Toothbrush That’s All Over Facebook And TBH I Loved It. This post was definitely experiment for me — I wanted to see if I could combine a product review with more of a dive into the company’s background and make it interesting and fun and servicey. It was hard for me to fully envision the flow and format at first, but I am really happy with how it turned out.

Make America Rape Again. Originally published on Facebook, this was one of those where, like, the spirit took over and I sat down and started writing feverishly and didn’t move until it was done.

Re: why I don’t carry a knife for self-defense. My emails are where I do some of my best work, TBQFH. This one makes me chuckle every time I think about it.

How My Glasses Showed Me That I’m My Father’s Daughter. I wrote about how this post came to be here. I hope you all enjoy this one because I open up about really personal things on the internet, like, oh…once every seven years or so!!!

And, finally, this Tweet.

Also, much love and thanks to Jess Probus and Rachel Sanders, who edited me this year!

Next up: the best things other people wrote in 2016!

The week in review

December 18, 2016

When I wasn’t freezing my ass off or getting supremely intoxicated at the BuzzFeed holiday party, here’s what I was up to this week…


Notes from the Resistance: A Column on Language and Power, LitHub.

On Optimism and Despair, The New York Review of Books.

Seth Meyers Is Going to Tell You the Truth, One Trump Joke at a Time, Vulture. Love him and highly recommend his “Closer Look” segments — I watch them in the morning when I’m getting ready.

The Year in Giving Up, The Year in Blame, and The Year in Avatars, Hazlitt.

The Key To Trump Is Reading Him Like A Celebrity, BuzzFeed.

Ivanka Trump Will Not Fix “Women’s Issues”—She Will Distract From Them, ELLE.com. “Patriarchy has always had room for the Exceptional Woman—the one woman smart enough, sweet enough, strong enough, soft enough, pure enough, sexy enough to satisfy all of our culture’s contradictory demands on women, and thus make it to the top of a sexist system on merit alone. Patriarchy needs that woman. She provides men with an excuse to blame women for their own pain and struggles while simultaneously assuring women that sexism only needs to be outwitted to be overcome. She tells us that the system is survivable for women—you simply have to be the right kind of woman.”

Remember the ‘Thucydides Trap’? The Chinese Do; Trump Clearly Does Not, The Atlantic.

‘I Feel Like a Fraud’: Confessions of a Broken-Down Domestic Violence Lawyer, Broadly.

We should be kind to America’s First Victim — Melania Trump, NewStatesman. I don’t agree with everything in this article — I don’t think people need to be kind so much as be mindful — but how we talk about white women living in a patriarchy has been on my mind a ton lately, so I found this interesting and relevant.

The True Story Behind All Those Fake Articles About Celebrities Moving To Small Towns And Cities, BuzzFeed.

The Politics of Self-Obsession, The Ringer.

How the World Closed Its Eyes to Syria’s Horror, The New York Times.

My President Was Black, The Atlantic.

Leonardo DiCaprio meets with Donald and Ivanka Trump to discuss green jobs which leads back to Wendi Deng, Lainey Gossip.

The Perfect Weapon: How Russian Cyberpower Invaded the U.S., The New York Times.

Trump Grill Could Be the Worst Restaurant in America, Vanity Fair. My god, this is a thing of beauty.

North Carolina governor signs laws restricting successor’s power, Politico.

Good twitter threads: Anand Giridharadas on tech giants meeting with Trump, what Aleppo looked like before it was bombed, a whip made just for white women in the antebellum South, avoiding becoming “internal emigres” under authoritarianism, on Trevor Noah and the Overton Window, a few good ways to humble your man, and an excellent wait to shut down dudes who complain that POC would not exist in medieval-themed video games.

We Found The Creator Of The Sad Kermit Meme And She’s Got A Vault Of Kermit Memes, BuzzFeed.

This 90-Year-Old Lady Seduced and Killed Nazis as a Teenager, Vice.

The Last Unknown Man, New Republic.

‘Jackie’ The Scammer, MTV.

REVIEW: Passengers Soils Its Escapism With Repulsive Reveal, CBR.

The Unwilling Model Faces of White Supremacy, Racked.

How to Deal with Static, Coveteur.

Here’s the Most Effective Way to Say No to Things You Don’t Want to Do, New York Magazine.

Collateral Beauty Is a Misguided Astonishment of Hollywood Therapy, LA Weekly. (Watch the trailer before reading.)

4 Christmas Dresses That Say, ‘I’ve Never Had a Dick in My Mouth’, Reductress.

An Imagined Date Between Two Straight Men, The New Yorker.

I Don’t Read The News Anymore, And It’s Great, The Awl. This actually made me laugh through my tears for a few seconds heartbreaking video from Aleppo.

19 People Who Need To Stop Cooking Immediately, BuzzFeed. I love this meme so much and giggled through this entire post.


This poem parody, this amazing post from the bullet journal FB group I’m in, “got the morbs”, the most-read Teen Vogue stories from 2016, RuPaul nailing it, and this tweet.

Comfort & Joy

DIY Project: Tiny Doors — I don’t think you understand how much I love tiny things, or how happy this made me. I got this bathrobe (c/o) about six weeks ago and can honestly say that everything in this review is 100% true and I strongly recommend it to help you get through these trash times. (Also, Dallas has this one and likes it if you are looking for more sizes. Also also, the pics in the Racked article make it look like it’s fleecy/furry, but it’s definitely standard terrycloth.) And if you’re in NYC and still need Christmas gifts, I can’t recommend the Union Square Holiday Market enough — I bought so many delightful things there this weekend!

The week ahead…

Christmas! PS I’ll be posting the best things I read in 2016 later this week (but not posting next Sunday) so keep an eye out for that!

The week in review

December 11, 2016

Hello! Here’s what I’ve got for this cold and snowy (!!) Sunday…


18 Quotes That Will Make You Want To Start Keeping A Journal


21 Photos That Will Only Make Sense If Your Friends Love Trash Men

20 Old-Timey Photos That Are 100% You And Your Friends

Are You Actually A Dick?

Plus! My thoughts on the new Bachelor cast.


Still reading The Unwinding! Also, I kept putting off reading all the awful things in my Pocket this week, so — lucky you! — it’s a slightly less depressing line-up this week…

Florida’s broken sentencing system, Herald Tribune. A must-read. And an enraging one.

Donald Trump Is Gaslighting America, Teen Vogue.

Chimamanda Adichie on Black Hair and the Narrow Definition of Beauty, NY Mag. “How would you describe your relationship with your hair? I don’t think we have enough time to talk about this.”

Angels of the Resistance (and a Serial Killer) in Nazi-Occupied Paris, The Daily Beast.

Why Time’s Trump Cover Is a Subversive Work of Political Art, Forward.

After a toddler accidentally shot and killed his sister, family’s wounds run deep, Alaska Dispatch News.

What Women Really Think of Men, The New York Times. “When we declare that men will always be brutes and women can only shrug from on high, we engage in what President George W. Bush once called the soft bigotry of low expectations. Feminists’ critique of male power has long been caricatured as hatred of men. But it is feminists whose fight is motivated by the belief that men can be better, if we can make clear that they, too, benefit from a safer, more equal and more just world.”

Locked On The Psych Ward, BuzzFeed. Just awful.

This is what happens when Donald Trump attacks a private citizen on Twitter, The Washington Post.

The Comet Ping Pong Gunman Answers Our Reporter’s Questions, The New York Times.

Helping Ex-Inmates Stay Out Of The ER Brings Multiple Benefits, NPR.

Annie Glenn: ‘When I called John, he cried. People just couldn’t believe that I could really talk.’, The Washington Post. I cried multiple times reading this???

Prince’s Closest Friends Share Their Best Prince Stories, GQ.

Video Calls Replace In-Person Visits In Some Jails, NPR.

Reduce Subway Fares for Poor New Yorkers, The New York Times. Yes, do this???

Dorothy Height Becomes 15th Black Woman to Be Honored With U.S. Postage Stamp, Ebony.

How to Hide $400 Million, The New York Times Magazine. omfg

Tom Ford on Sex, Death, and Penetration, GQ. 👀

Ladies And Gentlemen, Please Log Off Your Computers, Draw Your Blinds, And Sit On The Floor, For It Is The Time Of Year The Radiator Can Be Smelt!!!, Clickhole.

The New “Bachelor” Cast Is Here, And It’s Spectacular, BuzzFeed.

This Season’s Bachelor Contestants, Ranked By Going Out Top, Racked.

Comfort & Joy

Put on this playlist and read the 2016 Hater’s Guide To The Williams-Sonoma Catalog. Then give “Hamildolph” a watch, learn about how “O Holy Night” is an anti-slavery song, read this advice for telling kids the truth about Santa, enjoy this tale of a substitute teacher who ruined Christmas for a bunch of children, and remember that you can send incarcerated teens books here.

The week ahead…

Lots of writing + the BuzzFeed holiday party! 

The week in review

December 4, 2016

Photo: Taylor Miller

Happy December! Here’s what I got up to this week…


Only A True Historian Can Get 15/15 On This First Ladies Quiz

21 Very Merry Christmas Bullet Journal Ideas

24 Photos That’ll Make You Say “Me In Cold Weather”

15 Tried And True Recipes You’ll Make Again And Again


Designating the extra terrifying and stressful articles with a * again.

Trump’s lies have a purpose. They are an assault on democracy.*, Think Progress.

US military prepares for the next frontier: Space war*, CNN. I heard this story via my Amazon Echo on Tuesday morning. Then I read the Think Progress article on the subway. It was…a lot.

That Time I Almost Stabbed A Couple Rednecks Who Saw My Headwrap And Assumed I Was Muslim, VSB. You deserve this after those other two. It’s amazing.

Now Is the Time to Talk About What We Are Actually Talking About, The New Yorker. “Now is the time to resist the slightest extension in the boundaries of what is right and just. Now is the time to speak up and to wear as a badge of honor the opprobrium of bigots. Now is the time to confront the weak core at the heart of America’s addiction to optimism; it allows too little room for resilience, and too much for fragility. Hazy visions of ‘healing’ and ‘not becoming the hate we hate’ sound dangerously like appeasement. The responsibility to forge unity belongs not to the denigrated but to the denigrators. The premise for empathy has to be equal humanity; it is an injustice to demand that the maligned identify with those who question their humanity.”

Everything mattered: lessons from 2016’s bizarre presidential election, Vox.

Donald Trump Is the Greatest Threat to American Democracy in Our Lifetime*, The Nation.

Keep Hope Alive, Slate.

Men Dump Their Anger Into Women, Emma Lindsay on Medium. “Men who don’t understand their entire emotional range are prone to anger because they can’t meet their own needs. So, their needs go unmet, and a natural response to an unmet need is anger. Much like how you get a flash of anger when you stub your toe, or when you go to cook lunch and your stove won’t turn on. If you are tired, and want to go bed, but something stops you from going to bed (say, work) you might get angry. However, for a lot of men, I think, this anger comes from their own inability to understand what they need. So, it will be like, they’re tired, but don’t understand that they’re tired, so don’t go to sleep. Then, in an emotionally depleted state, they’re highly prone to small triggers (like, the phone rings and they get pissed off.) And, women will manage this. But, it sucks. It fucking suckkks.”

What I’m Doing To Get My Black Ass Ready For The Next 4 Years, The Establishment.

Texas to implement rules requiring burial or cremation of fetal remains, Texas Tribune.

Ivanka Trump’s Terrible Book Helps Explain The Trump Family Ethos, The New Yorker.

Beware Donald Trump’s Infrastructure Plan, The New Republic.

Van Jones: “Hope for the Best, Expect and Prepare for the Worst”, Mother Jones. (Apologies if I share this already, but I think I forgot to put it here after I first read it.)

We Asked 8,500 Internet Commenters Why They Do What They Do, FiveThirtyEight. Related: this comment from FiveThirtyEight.

After a Breakup, an App to Help Breathe, Then Run, The New York Times.

The Hidden Epidemic of Men Who Are Raped by Women, Broadly.

How Stable Are Democracies? ‘Warning Signs Are Flashing Red’*, The New York Times.

Reddit Is Tearing Itself Apart, Gizmodo.

The Array of Conflicts of Interest Facing the Trump Presidency, The New York Times.

Donald Trump’s Cabinet assembly instructions, Washington Post.

How to Manipulate Donald Trump, Slate.

The Trump Bros Have Found Their Safe Space, BuzzFeed.

Trump’s Lies Destroy Logic As Well As Truth*, The New Republic.

Loving My Son, After His Death, The New York Times.

Finding Hope in a Loveless Place, Tressie Mc.

Why the Casey Affleck Sexual-Harassment Allegations Just Won’t Stick, New York Magazine.

Facebook Runs Up Against German Hate Speech Laws, The New York Times.

Good Twitter threads: “White supremacy isn’t about what is in somebody’s heart. It’s about who wields political power.” “Revoking citizenship threats should scare you.” How Trump manipulates the media (in his own words), a guide for interpreting the language of fascists, a single day of reporting on Trump, “historical narcissism” is ridiculous, and just a bunch of chill pieces the New York Times wrote to normalize Hitler back in the day.

14 Tips That Will Make Doing Thanksgiving Dishes So Much Easier, BuzzFeed. These are legit; pin for next year/re-read before Christmas.

Police Set Up A Camera In Kansas To Find A Mountain Lion And WTF Is Happening, BuzzFeed.

19 Pregnancy Brain Fails That Will Make You Laugh Then Say “Huh?”, BuzzFeed.

Entertained by

This perfect summary of how I feel watching Westworld. This delightfully batty video. The Hamilton episode of Drunk History. The Cheerios website’s user-submitted recipes. This grandpa.

Comfort & Joy

DIY circus animal cookie ornaments.

Leslie Odom, Jr.’s Christmas album.

Also, on Friday night, I did something I’ve been meaning to do for like two years: went through several of profiles of incarcerated people seeking pen pals on this website, chose a few people, and sat down and wrote intro letters. (I found good tips for what to say and not say here.) If you’re interested, you can also use this website to help facilitate mailing. Also, if you’d like to send books to incarcerated youth, you can find an Amazon wish list here.

The week ahead…

Just trying to live my life like this woman.

The week in review

November 27, 2016

all white Christmas decor

This week I worked a ton, ate a lot of Brussels sprouts and also lasagna soup, put up the Christmas decorations, and pondered whether my recent uptick in nightmares was caused by the election results, Westworld, or something else entirely! Here’s what else I was up to…


Could You Pass A 1954 Home Economics Class?

16 Excellent Gifts For Woke Babies

What Should You Do With Your Mom While You’re Home For Thanksgiving?

People Are Having A Field Day With This “Make America Great Again” Ornament

People Are Loving This Incredible Harry Potter-Themed Christmas Tree


Note: items marked with a * are especially terrifying. I mean, the majority of the political links here are deeply upsetting, but these are the ones that are particularly ~end of days~ way. I don’t think people shouldn’t read those things – quite the opposite — but I do understanding wanting to be in a certain mindset for the particularly heavy shit.

On Rural America: Understanding Isn’t The Problem, Forsetti’s Justice. This is so, so, so good. It also led to a Trump voter who I literally don’t even know screeching at me on Facebook that (among other things) farmers are “the backbone of America,” and also saying that I, who she believed wrote the article (???), am ignorant. 

Blaming Clinton’s Base for Her Loss Is the Ultimate Insult, New York Magazine. Rebecca Traister is so great. 

‘Normal America’ Is Not A Small Town Of White People, FiveThirtyEight. This is so interesting! 

Valeria Luiselli: This Is How The World Ends?, Literary Hub.

Pat McCrory Lost the North Carolina Governorship. Now He’s Trying to Steal It., Slate. “What’s happening in North Carolina is not mere politics. It is a perversion of democracy.”

Prepare For Regime Change, Not Policy Change*, Dissent Magazine.

We’re heading into dark times. This is how to be your own light in the Age of Trump*, The Correspondent. “You still have your freedom, so use it. There are many groups organizing for both resistance and subsistence, but we are heading into dark times, and you need to be your own light. Do not accept brutality and cruelty as normal even if it is sanctioned. Protect the vulnerable and encourage the afraid. If you are brave, stand up for others. If you cannot be brave – and it is often hard to be brave – be kind.”

The First Senator to Endorse Donald Trump Is a Longtime Opponent of Civil Rights, The Nation. A good (and scary) primer on Trump’s pick for attorney general.

We have 100 days to stop Donald Trump from systemically corrupting our institutions*, Vox.

The Hamilton-Pence Incident Was More Than Just a Distraction, Vulture.

The First Black Friday, by William Bradford., McSweeney’s.

A Sea of Charter Schools in Detroit Leaves Students Adrift, The New York Times. A background on what charter schools — something Betsy DeVos is all about — do to students and to the education system.

“If Mama Ain’t Happy Ain’t Nobody Happy”: Revised and Expanded, McSweeney’s.

Many in Florida Count on Obama’s Health Law, Even Amid Talk of Its Demise, The New York Times.

Dark Meat, Slate. I read this right after I read this incredibly charming piece on Eater about the Butterball Turkey Talk-Line. Blargh.

White nationalists? Alt-right? If you see a Nazi, say Nazi, Lindy West in The Guardian. “But if declaring the superiority of the white race, quoting Nazi propaganda, calling for ‘peaceful ethnic cleansing’, and provoking Nazi salutes from his audience isn’t enough to qualify one as a neo-Nazi, then where on earth is the bar? What is the hesitation? And, given the close ties between the ‘alt-right’ and Trump’s cabinet, how is the top story on every front page not some version of ‘NEO-NAZIS ATTEMPTING TO SEIZE CONTROL OF AMERICAN GOVERNMENT’?”

How Fake News Goes Viral: A Case Study, The New York Times.

Stop Calling It ‘Identity Politics’ — It’s Civil Rights, The Establishment. “They want marginalized groups to stop fighting for civil rights because that would upset poor white people who might otherwise vote Democratic, if not for minorities and women pushing their issues. Unequivocally, this is a call for white supremacy. Telling minorities or other marginalized groups that their issues are ‘distractions,’ and that they must be subservient to the issues of white men is a path that leads right back to 1950s America. It certainly isn’t a path that leads to equality or racial justice.”

Stereotype-defying Trump voters have no regrets, Financial Times.

A Muted Alarm Bell Over Russian Election Hacking, The New York Times.

How the Loyal Opposition Will Work in Trump’s America*, New York Magazine.

8-year-old hospitalized after beating by white bullies who told his sister ‘go back to the cotton farm’, Raw Story.

How Delivering Meals To Seniors Showed Me The Real New York, BuzzFeed. This is lovely.

Why I Left White Nationalism, The New York Times.

Donald Trump Personally Blasts the Press, The New Yorker.

Donald Trump Won on White-Male Resentment—but Don’t Confuse That With the Working Class, The Nation.

Talking to Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie, the Beauty Brand Ambassador We All Need Right Now, Racked. “I think America is at a strange place now. But I think women still need to know what damn moisturizer works in the winter.”

The stories, headlines and bylines are fake. But the money pouring in is very real, The News & Observer.

This thread*. “He wants Bannon not just because the dude is a Nazi. But because it is an obedience test. …There is never one single test, a poll asking ‘Is it OK to kill Jews?'”

More good threads: on the political economy of many poor white working-class Trump voters, on the fact that “economic anxiety” is only an excuse that certain people can use, how to prepare for being tear gassed, “identity politics” are economic issues, on the myth of “real America”, what “law and order” means, and a bunch of Brazilian butt lifts, tummy tucks, and breast augmentations.

Literally Just 22 Hilarious Tumblr Posts About Sex, BuzzFeed.

Politician Who Criticized Squirrels Gets Hospitalized By Squirrel, The Huffington Post. “It was like a suicide bomber.”

Comfort & Joy

Miss Conduct’s 12 peeves of Christmas, Boston Globe.

A peace and justice advent calendar, Reading My Tea Leaves.

My two favorite Christmas playlists: Jazz & Blues Christmas (I love this playlist SO MUCH) and French Christmas songs (very good background music and also good for appearing cooler than you are).

Amazon wish list for children of incarcerated women.

Pintrill has everything 20% off until midnight tonight (and 25% off if you buy four pins) and their pins are so cute and make great gifts.


This year, I continued my tradition of buying some new clothes for myself on Black Friday! I replaced a bunch of my sweaters, because I have been wearing the same ones every day for the past four autumns/winters and am starting to get tired of a few of them, TBH. So I bought two J. Crew Holly sweaters (currently 40% off; gray and blossom; size small; I also loved this one but ultimately decided against it). I also ordered the J. Crew Factory version because I really wanted a light blue sweater (currently 50% off), and I bought a navy blue cable knit sweater from Muji (it’s so soft! size small; currently 15% off; also loved this one). Oh, and before the holiday, I ordered two more of the Uniqlo flannel shirts I wrote about here (currently on sale for $19.90, or $10 off). Thus concludes my shopping adventures until April!


This charming video of women making globes, “me after getting some dick”, this dude, and “France is bacon”.

The week ahead…

Eagerly awaiting my Christmas tree’s arrival! 

The week in review

November 20, 2016

Art by Quill & Fox

Art by Quill & Fox, buy the card here

This week, I went to an event at The Wing, completed open enrollment (very important), went wild at Flying Tiger and Target, and saw Something Rotten! with my mom, who was in town. (We both loved it; two of my friends had told me it was better than Book of Mormon, and I concur. If you get a chance to see it before it closes on Jan. 1, I recommend it!)

Here’s what I was reading this week…

The Unwinding by George Packer.

An analysis of Donald Trump’s election win and the prospects for his presidency, Tom Freeman on Medium. Really enjoyed the chart.

#917: “How to set boundaries with people who think boundaries and hurt are manipulative?” on Captain Awkward. A must-read if you’re dreading dealing with shitty people over the holidays. Particularly this part:

“Bigots think that ‘everyone’ thinks as they do and that their views are ‘simple common sense.’ What bigots are looking for when they say bigoted stuff to people who (as far as they know) share their race/class/orientation/disability status/etc. is solidarity and reassurance. Deny them this reassurance and solidarity. Deny them evidence that ‘everyone’ thinks that way. That is your power here, and it’s a pretty big one.

Whenever I set a boundary here in moderation & dealing with (thankfully rare) trolling, I get pushback along the lines of ‘Well, with that attitude how do you expect to convert someone like me to your way of thinking?’ The answer to that is: I don’t know, I’m not necessarily doing to convince you. I’m doing it for myself and for the other people who hang out here, so that we can feel safe and have the discussions we need to have. When you push back against someone’s bigoted remarks, this Thanksgiving (for one looming example) or at any other time, you’re not necessarily doing it to change that person’s heart or mind right in that minute. You’re doing it for yourself, so you can live with yourself and know that you did your best. And you’re doing it for the other people in your family, especially kids who are watching, to say, hey, I am a safe, kind person who doesn’t put up with this crap and you can be one, too.”

Van Jones: “Hope for the Best, Expect and Prepare for the Worst”, Mother Jones.

Obama Reckons with a Trump Presidency, The New Yorker.

Trump’s Proving That Those Who Called Clinton “The Lesser Of Two Evils” Didn’t Know What Evil Looked Like, VSB. “Perhaps Clinton wouldn’t have made things better. But this type of thinking ignored the very real possibility of one candidate making things much, much, much worse. There’s a difference between occasionally problematic status quo and actual evil. Not evil in name only. Or ‘evil’ as a hyperbolic and hysterical way of articulating something that rubs you the wrong way. But real evil.”

Teaching 1984 in 2016, The Atlantic.

Tess Rafferty’s hard-hitting statement on the election of Trump., Daily Kos. “I tried to be polite, but now I just don’t give a damn, because let’s be honest, we don’t live in polite America anymore. We live in ‘grab ‘em by the pussy’ America now. So thank you for that, being polite was exhausting.”

This Is How Facebook Is Radicalizing You, BuzzFeed.

Aftermath: Sixteen Writers on Trump’s America, The New Yorker. Be sure to read Hilary Mantel’s.

Are You Fucking Kidding Me by “Hillary Clinton” on Medium.

Inside College Basketball’s Most Political Locker Room, The New York Times.

The Myths Democrats Swallowed That Cost Them the Presidential Election, Newsweek.

It’s not safe to wear my hijab now that Trump will be president, Fusion.

Give Steve Bannon a chance. It’s not like he’s literally Joseph Goebbels., Washington Post.

Put the Blame for Hillary’s Loss Where It Belongs, Anita Finlay.

Why White Women Continue to Back the GOP, The Atlantic.

8 Steps White Folks Can Take Before Unfriending a Bigot on Facebook, Everyday Feminism.

What Normalization Means, The New Yorker.

Trump supporters are living in a reality shaped by television, says a Harvard professor, Quartz. I read this a while ago but I don’t think I shared it here. But I’ve been thinking about it a lot since I read it.

How These Neon Vests Became the Uniform of Abortion Clinic Defenders Nationwide, Racked.

Twitter threads: Leah McElrath on the reality of Putin and the KGB, Ashley Lynch on Trump’s unprecedented conflicts of interest, Alexandra Erin on the spoils system, @hyenagirl64 on what fascism is, Genevieve Valentine with tips for Trump supporters who want to reach out to POC right now, and Josh Shahryar on the idea that Democrats must coddle white men — and pretend that “cultural issues” are somehow not economic — to win future elections.

Helen Rosner on why it’s fucked up that Trump eats his steak well-done, why you need to get over the idea that Bernie could have won, and how to actually stop Donald Trump.

Area Man Considers Self Ally To Women Unless They Threaten His Status In Literally Any Way, The Onion. You know who you are.

We Regret to Inform You That Dirty Deeds Will No Longer Be Done Dirt Cheap, McSweeney’s.

23 Tweets That Will Make You Say “Me” And “Also Me”, BuzzFeed.

The Year’s Worst Sex Writing Is the Best Thing You’ll Read Today, GQ.

The week ahead…

Working the holiday, but keeping an on both Black Friday sales and my Christmas playlists. P.S. As you start doing your holiday shopping, consider grabbing a few items from this Amazon wish list for kids whose moms are incarcerated in Illinois.

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