The week in review

November 22, 2015

This week was very tiring, for reasons both too mundne and too complicated to explain here. (There should be a German word for exhaustion due to such circumstances.) On Friday afternoon, a real downer of a security meeting at work was followed by a special kind of 4 p.m. office-wide loopiness that reminded me of the scene in Mean Girls when the teacher says, “Come quick! They’ve gone wild. The girls have gone wild.” It was at this point that my coworker and friend Jess, who sits next to me, said, “We’re all gonna die.” And then in a more positive tone: “But it’s fine… I’m tired.”

And we all laughed because that statement pretty much sums up how everyone was feeling this week.

Nov. 16-22 03

One highlight of this week was when Jess and I went shopping for a DIY photo shoot that’s happening this Tuesday, and ended up spending a couple hours in Blick and Michaels like a couple of coked-up housewives who just got their allowance. Every store in Manhattan suddenly became 100 degrees this week!? So we were like… feverishly encouraging each other to buy things like teeny clothespins in Michaels. “They’re on sale! AND we have this special 30 percent off coupon! It would be more expensive NOT to buy them!!!”

I’ve been working on a ton of DIY projects this week. Today I went into the office to get a bunch of shit done and while I did get shit done, it wasn’t a particularly fun or even satisfying kind of getting shit done. I ran a bunch of city errands — again, in very warm stores — and planned to bring a bunch of heavy/bulky things home with me so I didn’t have to bring it on the train during rush hour tomorrow. Lugging all of said shit, I trekked to the most twee and adorable pencil store ever to pick some items up for Tuesday’s shoot.

After realizing I could not, in fact, buy every single pretty pencil along with a $500 pencil sharpener, I trekked back to the train… only to have one of those sort of NYC subway experience that is just hell on earth. While carrying alllllllll my heavy shit.

I. Am. Over. It.

Moving on… I spent most of my week editing (including this piece, which I love) and prepping for this shoot instead of publishing new content of my own, but here are the things that had me entertained this week…

My mom’s kindergartners. My coworkers and I were crying laughing at all the photos she was texting me.

Mockingjay: Part 1. Somehow we never got around to seeing the third Hunger Games?! It is SO GOOD. My favorite of the series so far and now I’m geeked to see Part 2.

This Is What They Did For Fun: A Modern-Day Lynching In Mississippi, BuzzFeed. This is a must-read story. (Warning: it’s also a cry-on-the-subway kind of a story.) I read this after reading some really frustrating, narrow-minded bullshit about what’s happening at Yale, Mizzou, and other college campuses, and it was just impossible not to make the connection between the experiences of black college students and what happened in this story. The racist teenagers in the Mississippi case started with the exact same kind of harassment that black college students are reporting on campus… and yet somehow, people still dismiss the students’ concerns or simply don’t get why they don’t feel safe. Well, because you never know which racist is the one who is going to be satisfied by just throwing a beer bottle at you, and which one is going to throw a beer bottle at you and then actually fucking beat you almost to death and then run you over with their truck, is why.

How To Handle The Holidays When You Can’t Go “Home”, Gothamist.

The murderers next door, The Guardian.

Here’s What You Need to Know About HIV Before You Read Anything About Charlie Sheen, Mic.

Zola Tells All: The Real Story Behind the Greatest Stripper Saga Ever Tweeted, Rolling Stone.

President Obama’s “Folks Wanna Pop Off” Is The Blackest Thing That Ever Happened This Week, Very Smart Brothas.

Selfie, Rachel Syme on Medium. This article was the subject of a lot of conversation in my office this week.

Unfollow, The New Yorker. Another piece everyone was talking about.

27 Ways To Celebrate International Men’s Day, BuzzFeed. I loved this.

Nicki Minaj Reads “Still I Rise” by Maya Angelou. Here. For. This.

26 Penis Facts People Wish They Knew When They Were Younger, BuzzFeed. This made me laugh so hard.

New Yorkers On Their Lunch Breaks In The 1970s, Gothamist.

First Got Horny 2 U, SNL.

Everything You Need To Know About Lush’s Bath Bomb Factory, BuzzFeed.

Dinner Party Tips from 15 Genius Hosts, A Cup of Jo.

Why You’re Not Having Sex on the Death, Sex, & Money podcast.

This stress sausage (and, really, that entire site), which was being shared and intensely discussed during the office loopiness on Friday.

Also tonight I’m so excited to read New York Magazine’s cover story on Bed-Stuy. I read the one they wrote in 2005 when we first moved here last year with great interest — it’s a great story both on this neighborhood and also gentrification in general — and I’m really eager to read the new piece.

The week ahead…

Photo shoot on Tuesday, low-key photo shoot on Wednesday, and spending Thanksgiving in NYC. I’m making lasagna soup and am excited to burrow and relax and practice calligraphy. I would like Thanksgiving so much more if everyone could get on board with wearing funny hats, weird/amazing drunk taxidermied squirrels, and expressive pumpkin pies.

Photo by Lauren Zaser

The week in review

November 15, 2015

This week, I attended the Glamour Women of the Year Awards, spent the Fishs Eddy gift card my mother-in-law gave me for my birthday in August, and had Cassandra over to photograph the apartment! Now I’m just waiting for Dallas to get here so we can go out and have a playdate.

Other highlights…


13 Times The ‘Glamour’ Women Of The Year Awards Gave Me Life

How Do You And Your Partner Deal With Mental Illness In Your Relationship?

Attention, Texpats: H-E-B Is Now Selling Its Products Online


‘Women are just better at this stuff’: is emotional labor feminism’s next frontier?, The Guardian.

The theory that Missy Elliott’s new song is about cultural appropriation, @Iron_Spike. Here for this (and for the new song).

I Dressed Like Me for a Week, Racked.

A Conversation With Johari Osayi Idusuyi, the Hero Who Read Through a Trump Rally, Jezebel. *praise hands emoji*

Gentrification Through the Eyes of Yelp Reviewers, The Atlantic. Ugh.

Unsolicited Advice For The Six Wives Of Henry VIII, Working Within Their Social Parameters And Not Suggesting They Just Invent Feminism Because That’s Anachronistic, The Toast. Most of you didn’t know me during my intense Henry VIII history period (2004) but this post made me happy.

This Is Why NFL Star Greg Hardy Was Arrested For Assaulting His Ex-Girlfriend and Inside The Closed-Door NFL Hearing That Reinstated Greg Hardy, Deadspin.

There Once Was a Dildo in Nantucket, Literary Hub. This is SO GOOD.

Screaming on the Inside: My Adventures With Botox, Jezebel.

What It’s Like To Date When You Can’t Have Sex, BuzzFeed.

Why the Trend of Adoption Crowdfunding Makes Me So Uncomfortable, The Toast.

17 Incredibly Helpful Charts For Cooking Thanksgiving Dinner, BuzzFeed. TIL that a pop-up timer leads to a dry turkey!

Entertained by

These cut songs from Hamilton, particularly “Congratulations.” Also, I forgot to share this, but a few weeks ago, I read through all of the annotated Hamilton lyrics on Rap Genius and it was wonderful.

Master of None. I finished the first season on Saturday and really loved the first season. The first episode and the last episode were my least favorites, but on the whole I thought it was so great. Currently listening to this on Spotify. (Also, so many Slack rooms at BuzzFeed were lit up last week discussing this article.)

The week ahead

Same old thang!

The week in review

November 8, 2015

I reallllllly am not here for 70 degree weather in November. I am here for this pumpkin bread though. (h/t Jess!)

Here are some other highlights from this week…


19 Wedding Photos You’ll Want To Pin Right Now

10 Life-Changing Things To Try In November


The Disappearance of Constance Wilde, McSweeney’s Internet Tendency. 

12 Ways to Use the IKEA Bekvam Step Stool All Around the House, Apartment Therapy.

How to Eat Ramen, Gothamist.

Dear 14-Year-Old Boy, You Are Not Entitled to Sex, Hanif Abdurraqib on Medium.

Volunteering At An Abortion Clinic Made Me Lose Patience With The Abortion Debate, BuzzFeed.

Trouble dealing with male grad students who take up all the air, Captain Awkward.

Einstein Was a Genius at Treating His Wives Like Shit, Broadly.

Braiding Hair Risks Heavy Fines, Even Jail Time, In Iowa, Forbes.

I Don’t Need To Choose Between Black And White, And Neither Does My Hair, BuzzFeed.

The Outcast, Texas Monthly.

The Internet is what you make it, Emma Gannon on Medium.

The Mother of All Questions, Harper’s. “There is no good answer to being a woman; the art may instead lie in how we refuse the question.”

New Empathy Cards, A Cup of Jo.

True Story: I Was in Federal Prison, Yes and Yes.

What Niya Kenny Saw, The New Yorker.

The Magic of One Nice Space, A Beautiful Mess. I’ve put this tip into practice and I co-sign this post.

Breaking news from the Feels Department: Janet Mock got married and this wedding ring story is beautiful and sad.

On the book front, I’m alternating between reading The Social Sex: A History of Female Friendship and Fates and Furies, which people seem to really love, but I’m struggling to get into. The prose is good but I’m not really feeling the characters.

Entertained by

The first episode of BuzzFeed/Lena Dunham’s “Women of the Hour” podcast. 

The new Little Mix album; they performed in our office this week and my coworkers are obsessed so I went ahead and got the album. It’s just good fun pop. Learn more about them here.

Master of None on Netflix. I watched the first four episodes today and really liked it! “Indians on TV” is SO GOOD. My coworker Bim had very good things to say about the show here.

The week ahead…

Making the apartment look pretty — it’s being professionally photographed next weekend (!!) so it needs to be in top shape. Attending an event. Hopefully tracking down some butterscotch chips so I can make pumpkin butterscotch cookies; I went to two grocery stores in Brooklyn and neither carried them, which is… rude. And then Dallas will be in town on Sunday! All good thing, which is nice because I kind of hate this month already; like, whatever, it’s fine… but Thanksgiving is really not my holiday so I’m ready to quit dicking around and get onto Christmas decor/music/DIYs already!

The week in review

November 1, 2015

Well, we made it through Halloween!

crossword costume

coffee mug costume


special snowflake costume

After making 50+ costumes in September, I wasn’t done quite yet. Alanna and I knocked out four truly last-minute costumes for The TODAY Show this week, which we took on the show on Friday morning. Getting on TODAY was a huge goal of mine for 2015, and it was really exciting to achieve it. (You can watch the segment here.)

In the midst of making those last four costumes, I also busted out the box cutter and glitter to make my ~special snowflake~ costume for Halloween at BuzzFeed. (Pro tip: never ever attempt to cut a snowflake, or anything really, out of foam core. I knew it would be difficult, but I also knew foam core would ultimately look better than poster board so I went for it…as a result, I spent several hours literally wrestling with the box cutter, and I’m kind of amazed I still have all my fingers.)

What a week! Here are the other highlights…


I mean, aside from the costumes…

18 Ideas For A Badass Halloween Wedding

I was also a guest on Real Simple’s “Adulthood Made Easy,” where I talked about how to make friends as an adult, and “Just Jenny” on Sirius XM, where I talked about last-minute Halloween costumes!

Also this is definitely a real thing that happened.

Entertained by

Literary Iceland Revels In Its Annual ‘Christmas Book Flood’, NPR.

Confessions Of A Halloween Costume Model, BuzzFeed.

Nicki Minaj, White Fragility and Me, by Sally Kohn on Medium.

The Gun Control Movement Needs Its Own Pro-Life Fanatics, Gawker.

The Life and Death of an Amazon Warehouse Temp, Highline.

23 Times Feminists Had The Perfect Comeback, BuzzFeed.

What’s the Ethical Limit of a Boundary-Pushing Haunted House? Ask Scare Expert Margee Kerr, Jezebel.

So A Racist Came To Your Halloween Party, BuzzFeed. Do yourself a favor and don’t read the comments.

This episode of Liz Gilbert’s “Magic Lessons” podcast, which featured the wonderful Brené Brown and this episode of “This American Life.” Speaking of Liz Gilbert, I also loved this.

This tweet made me LOL.

I’m obsessed with this costume.

And this weekend I got completely caught up on How to Get Away with Murder, finished season four of Scandal (I just had to take a break after Olivia went on sale on the black market last spring), and started the current season. Side note: if you’re a Shondaland fan, you should definitely be reading Phoebe Robinson’s recaps on Vulture; they are SO FUNNY.

The week ahead…

Straight chilling. Getting back to practicing calligraphy in the evenings. Listening to podcasts and audiobooks on my commute. (Sorry, Hamilton soundtrack.) I’ve been using this bedtime/sleep cycle calculator in an effort to sleep better/get up more easily, and though things went off the rails a bit on Friday morning when I had to be up at 4:45 and was basically delirious by 1:00 in the afternoon, I’m hoping this lazy weekend helped right the ship and I can keep unplugging/sleep a top priority. Feeling rested makes such a huge difference in every aspect of my life.

Anyway, it’s a new month, and my overall goal is to put the “no” in November and say no when I am compelled to say no or when what other people are asking of me interferes with my own goals. Nah-vember, who’s with me?

The week in review

October 25, 2015

It’s been a Halloween frenzy over here! Except when I went to the Target holiday preview…which was, as one might expect, fucking delightful. I also made getting enough sleep a top priority, which was a very good choice. For the past two weeks, I’ve been unplugging around 9:30 (10 at the latest) and am in bed no later than 10:30…though I called it a night at 10:00 on several occasions and did not regret it. I feel like a human again. 


guess who




Here are some other highlights from the past two weeks…


35 Costumes Guaranteed To Win Halloween

21 Insanely Creative Halloween Costumes For You And Your Friends

Here’s How To Turn Yourself Into A Human Guess Who? Board This Halloween

Here’s How To Make A Comfy AF Burrito Costume This Halloween

13 Amazingly Fun Halloween Costumes For ’90s Kids

5 Easy Halloween Costumes You Can Make From An Old Bridesmaid Dress

In The Event Of My Untimely Disappearance

Watch One Woman Transform Into 7 Disney Characters In 90 Seconds + FB video

13 Charts That Perfectly Sum Up The Reality Of Planning A Wedding


I probably would have done more reading if I hadn’t gotten totally addicted to Jane the Virgin, which I highly recommend. (The first season is on Netflix and the current one is on Hulu.) It’s so good!

Defending the Kardashians: What the haters don’t get about Khloe and Lamar Odom, The LA Times.

The Monetized Man, Medium.

More Than Meets the Smize: A Look Inside Tyra Banks’s Exploitative Empire, Broadly.

How Doctors Take Women’s Pain Less Seriously, The Atlantic. OMG rage.

Why Ava DuVernay Hates The Word Diversity, I cried.

Here’s How a 37-Year-Old Man Creates All Those Insane Sexy Halloween Costumes, Related: I watched this video like a dozen times.

Why Consensual Sex Can Still Be Bad, The Cut.

Why Lime Crime Is the Most Hated Beauty Company on the Internet, Racked.

The Strange Case of Anna Stubblefield, The New York Times Magazine.

Haunted by hackers: A suburban family’s digital ghost story, Fusion.

I also started reading The Social Sex: A History of Female Friendship this weekend!

The week ahead…

Halloween is almost here! And I…actually still need a costume?

ariel and ursula

A tribute to Bonnie Bucqueroux

October 14, 2015

No one has had a bigger influence on my career — and, so, my life — than Bonnie Bucqueroux has. When I found out that she’d died this morning, I felt so sad that the world no longer has her and that future students won’t be able to learn from her, and just so grateful that she was a part of my life. I’ll update this post with more photos and memories as they come to me/I have a chance to dig through old computer files for photos.

Bonnie Bucqueroux

In the fall of 2005, after I found out that the rest of my JRN 200 class had gotten job interviews with the State News and I hadn’t, I tearfully sat in my dorm and read an email from my JRN 108 professor Bonnie Bucqueroux. The email reminded us that she was still looking for bloggers and reporters to join in her new project: creating MSU’s first online news outlet. Through tears, I wrote back that I would love to be a part of it and that I would like to start a blog for it called “The Spartanette.” I didn’t even know what the hell a blog was at that point; all I knew is I needed an outlet for my writing and figured she’d be more open to me writing a funny column about sleeping around than the State News was.

I became the Managing Editor for a few weeks after I responded to that email, and when other, older journalists criticized it — and The Spartanette specifically — shortly after the debut, Bonnie had my back 100%, as she did many other times for controversial choices we made for SpartanEdge. Throughout my time at MSU, the J School leadership was pretty resistant to her efforts to teach us to be Web-first writers and journalists, but she knew where news was heading and she quietly taught us what we needed to know (or told us where to look for info) because she knew no one else was going to. My senior year, I learned to edit video in iMovie in one of her classes; it’s a skill that I actually still use at BuzzFeed. It feels sort of silly to consider that an asset but it’s toootally an asset because I’ve realized not every writer can do it and it really just comes in handy. She also taught the Victims in the Media seminar, something I think about often (basically every time another white woman goes missing and everyone flips the fuck out, or whenever Nancy Grace is Nancy Gracing).

Bonnie was my mentor while I was at MSU and has been ever since. In the fall of 2009, after I’d moved home from NYC, I met with her in East Lansing and we talked about how I should be doing more video on my then-newish health and fitness blog; a few days later, I received a brand new Flip Cam (!!) from her in the mail, and a couple of days after that, I used it to create a video about how I think about dudes I’ve banged while training for a marathon. (Sadly, this video is not nearly as funny now that it’s been muted by YouTube for my use of Sublime’s “Caress Me Down.”) Many more videos followed — most of which I need to set to public again now that I have a job that doesn’t care that I talk about sex — including the one about sex and McBreakfasts, one of my all-time favorites.

Bonnie, like most amazing, badass women, had so many amazing, inspiring, and terrifying stories that she’d just casually reference from time to time, leaving those of us around her asking, “Wait — what did she just say?” How she’d left her first husband, who’d beat her. How she’d just selected the last name “Bucqueroux” for herself after her divorce because it sounded cool. How her male boss (back in the day, not at MSU) had criticized her for not wearing a girdle, which she thought was bullshit. How she’d worn a black dress on her wedding day. How she’d run for office on the Green Party ticket. Every time I was around her, I was treated to little snippets of a rich life I was lucky enough to get to be a part of for a few years.

In the past couple of years, Bonnie’s radical views, which I saw on Facebook daily (along with adorable animal photos), have been on my mind more and more. She’s the kind of woman who fights the patriarchy by fighting capitalism, demanding racial justice, and pushing for all of us to take action against climate change. She loved many of the lifestyle things I do — cooking, crafting, dogs, holidays — but she pushed me to look at them through the lens of radical feminism, building community, and truly being independent. And just…a good person.

After I accepted the job at BuzzFeed last fall, I wasn’t totally sure what Bonnie would think, but she messaged me with this: “BuzzFeed is brilliant. You belong there. I am so glad to see this happening for you.” And then: “What an opportunity. You belong with a cutting-edge place like that. It will be thrilling to watch you make your way over the years. I cannot wait to see all the amazing things you will do.” It was so good to see that she got BuzzFeed but…of course she did. I’m doing literally everything she taught me to do, that she showed me I could do, and I truly couldn’t have done it without her.

Bonnie was a hell of a woman who lived the shit out of her life. I owe so much of my success to her, and I will really, really miss her.


You can read a great tribute that my friend Diane wrote here; I’m so glad she found the email from Bonnie that she included in her post — I remember that email so well.

Here’s Bonnie in her own words: 50 may be the new 40, but 70 is still 70.

The month in review

October 4, 2015


I spent most of September creating/crafting. With the Hamilton soundtrack on repeat, I practiced calligraphy, mixed watercolors, went to photo shoots, shopped for art supplies, and (with the help of a Halloween-loving coworker) created 50 original costumes in a single week.


Fall flowers

M&J Trimmings



sugar flowers


Here are some other highlights…


10 Life-Changing Things To Try In October

This Couple’s “Drunk History” Version Of How They Met Is Pure Gold

19 Gorgeous Floral Crowns For Fall Weddings

26 Beautiful Wedding Photos To Inspire You This Month

This magnolia leaf video and this globe one with Laura Hooper Calligraphy.


Race, Immigration, and Hamilton: The Relevance of Lin-Manuel Miranda’s New Musical, The Toast.

What Happens When A Parent’s Grief Goes Viral? BuzzFeed.

‘Hamilton’: Meet the Man Behind Broadway’s Hip-Hop Masterpiece, Rolling Stone.

You Get Two Questions, Gawker.

The Police Told Her To Report Her Rape, Then Arrested Her For It, BuzzFeed.

I Used The Crap Out Of The New iPhone 6s And This Is What Happened, BuzzFeed.

How Ashley Madison Hid Its Fembot Con From Users and Investigators, Gizmodo.

Mindy Kaling: ‘Those moments when you feel an idiot – they’re good to write about’, The Guardian.

This Is What It Feels Like to Treat Depression with Magic Mushrooms, Vice.

Why Americans dress so casually, The Washington Post.

A Modest Proposal, The New Yorker.

29 Perfectly Autumn Things You Must Do In NYC This Fall, BuzzFeed.

Stephen Colbert Shares Why He Thinks Women Should Be in Charge of Everything, Glamour.

Welcome to Cancerland: A Mammogram Leads to a Cult of Pink Kitsch. Required reading for October.

Jo has Alzheimer’s. He’s 38., Maclean’s. (Sob warning.)

Black Kids Get Less Pain Medication Than White Kids in ER, NBC News.

The ‘Dear Fat People’ video is tired, cruel and lazy – but I still fight for the woman who made it, The Guardian.

Children don’t ruin women’s careers — husbands do, Harvard study finds, National Post.

The Dark, Scammy History Of JustFab And Fabletics, BuzzFeed.

Everybody in dresses: Why does gender neutral clothing always mean ‘boy’ clothes for girls?, National Post.

I love this parody Twitter account.

Book-wise, I read Tiny Beautiful Things: Advice on Love and Life from Dear Sugar by Cheryl Strayed and Why Not Me?, Mindy Kaling’s new book.

The week ahead…

Taking our Halloween costumes live, spending two days on a shoot for another Halloween project, and doing Bridal Fashion Week!

The week in review

September 7, 2015

the bouqs

Here are some of the things I’ve been up to in the past two weeks…


25 Essential Tips For Your Disney World Honeymoon

If Catcalls Were Motivational Posters

These Custom Wedding Shoes Are Seriously Amazing

Are You Willing To Pop Your Significant Other’s Zits?

25 Wedding Ideas To Fall In Love With In September

10 Life-Changing Things To Try In September

24 Completely Bewitching Tim Burton Inspired Wedding Ideas

This “Brie Mine” video and these Beyonce-inspired champagne flutes with Laura Hooper Calligraphy.

And these mugs.


These men’s rights activists are using a 1950s law to shut down women in tech, Yahoo! News. (H/t Stacy-Marie Ishmael and her #awesomewomen newsletter.)

Robin Williams’ Daughter Wrote A Touching Instagram Post About Grief, BuzzFeed.

Toward A Theory Of Fall Fuckability, The Hairpin.

How to correct someone’s repeated mispronunciation of the same word, Ask a Manager.

15 Of The Best Ways To Actually Dress Your Body Type, BuzzFeed. (People were…actually mad that this article didn’t tell them to hate themselves?)

The Racial Politics of Disney Animals, Bitch.

How To Throw A Party, The Toast.

The Big, Weird Business of Prom, Racked.

40 years ago, a gay couple applied for a marriage license. She approved it., Upworthy.

Searching for Sugar Daddy, GQ.

This “Why You Always Lying” Video Gets Funnier Every Time You Watch It, BuzzFeed.

The real reason men get stuck in the friendzone.

And I also read an advance copy of Elizabeth Gilbert’s new book Big Magic: Creative Living Beyond Fear, which is based in part on her TED Talk.

The week ahead…

My new hire starts tomorrow!

You can take my gun as long as I can keep my phone.

August 27, 2015

Photo by Beth Retro

Photo: Beth Retro / Society6

Another day, another angry man shooting. I was sitting on the News side of the office yesterday — the air conditioning is broken on the Life and Buzz side, so many of us have set up shop on the other side to stay sane — when suddenly the room broke out in gasps and several “OH MY GOD”s. It was incredibly unsettling, and I had a sick feeling the rest of the day because I couldn’t stop thinking about what they must have seen that would elicit that sort of reaction.

Today the conversation has sort of turned, as it often sort of does, to gun control, mental illness, and whether it’s “too soon” to have a conversation about guns. But when the father of the victim says it’s not too soon, and, in fact, starts the conversation, I think we’re definitely OK to go ahead and talk about it.

As I (foolishly, I know) read the comments on some of the posts about the murders of Alison Parker and Adam Ward and the attempted murder of Vicki Gardner yesterday, it’s sort of amazing to see how many gun enthusiasts (or the people who don’t own guns but who align themselves with the politics of gun enthusiasts) feel super strongly that the Second Amendment is there for our own good. That owning a gun is a constitutional right that must be protected because it’s a valid one. And it’s valid because gun ownership is… the only thing keeping America from having its very own Hunger Games?

The Onion has perfectly summed up how absurd that idea is. And yet Ted Cruz recently called gun ownership the “ultimate check against governmental tyranny — for the protection of liberty.” And yet another senator said the Second Amendment was written “to balance a tyrannical force here.” (He said this after 20 children were murdered in their classrooms two weeks before Christmas.) And yet. And yet. And yet.


I mean, first of all, the way the Second Amendment is being interpreted by most of these types is suspect as hell. But even if you believe that the founding fathers had keeping tyranny at bay when they were writing the Constitution, and even if you believe they would be against, IDK, re-evaluating some of the things they did or didn’t put in the Constitution as society and technology evolved… I legitimately don’t understand how one could believe this notion of keeping tyranny in check idea is THAT compelling in modern America… mainly because I’ve never thought that a gun would keep me safe if those with power wanted to fuck with me.

To be clear, I don’t have a ton of trust of those in power at this point in my life. But the true threats to my life and liberty will likely not be stopped with a weapon, because the people who want to take those things away from me will pretty much always have a bigger weapon than I ever could.

If a man decides it’s appropriate to grab me from behind and slit my throat because I refuse to go out with him, a gun probably won’t do a whole lot for me. If a group of people want to stop me from having the abortion I need to stay alive, a gun isn’t going to save me. When I showed up to vote without a Texas ID in Houston, a gun wouldn’t have helped me. (Being middle class sure did, though!) A gun wouldn’t save me from being raped by this cop, or keep a group of cops from forcibly fingering me in a gas station parking lot because they “smelled marijuana” during a traffic stop like they did this woman. If someone wants to see me thrown in jail for existing while black, a gun isn’t going to save me — in fact, it’s actually pretty likely to ensure that I end up fucking dead.

Perhaps the people who believe they need a gun for protection don’t realize how little they have to be afraid of in terms of institutionalized violence. I mean, if you’re white dude, you can show up to Target with a gun as part of a “peaceful protest” for gun rights. If you’re black and engaged in a peaceful protest about the well-documented police brutality that is actually taking away the rights of you and your children and your partner and your friends… well, then, your phone is a much better choice as far as defense systems go.

Because at least our phones have Twitter. And Vine. They have the blog posts that explain what, exactly, your rights are when you’re stopped by the cops. They can create hashtags and have apps that ensure your videos will automatically go to the cloud even if the phone gets taken or smashed. They have the platforms and access to the communities that allow people to talk openly about what is happening. And then there’s the photos. And the voice recordings, location data, and timestamps. The unedited videos. All the little bits of evidence and megabytes that are helping marginalized people get their stories heard and taken seriously.

So yeah, go ahead and make it hard for me to own a gun… in terms of keeping tyranny in check, the main thing I care about remaining in possession of is my phone. (And, God help me, a charger.)

The week in review

August 23, 2015

The past couple weeks have been solid!

giant beach ball

Bear Mountain


– Last weekend, we went to the beach with friends and played with all sorts of giant-ass inflatables. We brought along this beach tent (which I received for free) and it was AMAZING. I didn’t expect much of it but everyone loved it and other beach-goers stopped by to ask where we got it. If you go to the beach regularly, it’s worth it. Bonus: you can tote it in a bag about the size of yoga mat bag.
– Yesterday, Eric and I went hiking at Bear Mountain. We used this description to guide our hike, which turned out to be a lot easier and more meh than that post makes it sound. (However, I think doing that exact hike in reverse would have been fantastic.) Since the first hike was underwhelming, we did a second hike on Appalachian Trail, which we both liked a lot better.
– At work, I’ve been doing lots of DIY projects with our new Cricut Explore Air, which I LOVE.
– I went to a Lululemon event this week and got my ass kicked by a very good-looking trainer in exchange for a ton of awesome swag.
– This week was soul-crushingly muggy in NYC and the AC broke down on my side of the office. It’s been pretty rough.
– Eric and I have been picking up bottles of Le Goat Blush — a sweet wine that tastes more like juice — at Olivino Wines in Bed-Stuy. Definitely recommend!

Here are some other updates from around these parts…


15 Insanely Creative Things To Do With Mason Jars (So excited to work with an illustrator to bring this idea to life!)

This Painter Will Create Custom Portraits Of Your Wedding Guests

Here’s A Simple Way To Save Your Wedding Cards: video and post.

These Runway-Inspired Wedding Cakes Are Amazing.

Never-Before-Seen Photos From Charles And Diana’s Wedding Up For Auction

And our design team turned one of my ideas into a cute illustration.


Homme de Plume: What I Learned Sending My Novel Out Under a Male Name, Jezebel.

Meet the Woman Who Started a Drybar for Women With Natural Hair, The Cut.

Things That Will Happen If I Don’t Take My Phone Out Right Now, The New Yorker.

How Texas Could Set National Template for Limiting Abortion Access, The New York Times.

Jell-O Molds and Shrimp Trees: Behind the Insane Vintage Food of ABC’s “The Astronaut Wives Club”, Bon Appetit. (Bonus: the food stylist — whose Instagram is AMAZING — mentioned a post I wrote on vintage Christmas foods in this interview!)

The Teflon Toxin: DuPont and the Chemistry of Deception, The Intercept.

“Fixing to preach about some Duggars.”

Fertility clinics destroy embryos all the time. Why aren’t conservatives after them? Washington Post.

An Adult’s Guide To Snapchat, BuzzFeed. This was very helpful. (If you’d like to see my first pitiful attempts to use Snapchat, I’m on there as the_rewm.)

Indefensible: The Story Of New Orleans’ Public Defenders, BuzzFeed.

An Open Letter to People Thinking About Checking to See if Their Husbands or Wives Were On Ashley Madison, Dan Savage on The Stranger.

How Waist Trainers Became The Biggest Thing On Instagram, Fader.

We Need to Talk About Amy Winehouse’s Eating Disorder and Its Role In Her Death, Pitchfork.

How The GOP Can Appeal To Women, The Onion.

Manicures and Permanents: Inside a Senior Living Facility Beauty Shop, Racked.

Why Taylor Woolrich Wanted A Gun, BuzzFeed.

Wedding Photos From All 50 States 50 Days After Nationwide Marriage Equality, BuzzFeed. ***Cry warning***

If Internet Trolls Were Real, BuzzFeed BFF.

This made me LOL.

I finally took the time to save every one of these posts to Pocket and read them all this week.

In terms of books, I read an advance copy of The Story of the Lost Child (!!) and now I’m finishing up Never Have I Ever: My Life (So Far) Without a Date by my coworker Katie Heaney.

The week ahead…

It’s my intern’s last week, which is sad! Other than that, it should be more of the usual.

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