The week in review

December 4, 2016

Photo: Taylor Miller

Happy December! Here’s what I got up to this week…

Writing

Only A True Historian Can Get 15/15 On This First Ladies Quiz

21 Very Merry Christmas Bullet Journal Ideas

24 Photos That’ll Make You Say “Me In Cold Weather”

15 Tried And True Recipes You’ll Make Again And Again

Reading

Designating the extra terrifying and stressful articles with a * again.

Trump’s lies have a purpose. They are an assault on democracy.*, Think Progress.

US military prepares for the next frontier: Space war*, CNN. I heard this story via my Amazon Echo on Tuesday morning. Then I read the Think Progress article on the subway. It was…a lot.

That Time I Almost Stabbed A Couple Rednecks Who Saw My Headwrap And Assumed I Was Muslim, VSB. You deserve this after those other two. It’s amazing.

Now Is the Time to Talk About What We Are Actually Talking About, The New Yorker. “Now is the time to resist the slightest extension in the boundaries of what is right and just. Now is the time to speak up and to wear as a badge of honor the opprobrium of bigots. Now is the time to confront the weak core at the heart of America’s addiction to optimism; it allows too little room for resilience, and too much for fragility. Hazy visions of ‘healing’ and ‘not becoming the hate we hate’ sound dangerously like appeasement. The responsibility to forge unity belongs not to the denigrated but to the denigrators. The premise for empathy has to be equal humanity; it is an injustice to demand that the maligned identify with those who question their humanity.”

Everything mattered: lessons from 2016’s bizarre presidential election, Vox.

Donald Trump Is the Greatest Threat to American Democracy in Our Lifetime*, The Nation.

Keep Hope Alive, Slate.

Men Dump Their Anger Into Women, Emma Lindsay on Medium. “Men who don’t understand their entire emotional range are prone to anger because they can’t meet their own needs. So, their needs go unmet, and a natural response to an unmet need is anger. Much like how you get a flash of anger when you stub your toe, or when you go to cook lunch and your stove won’t turn on. If you are tired, and want to go bed, but something stops you from going to bed (say, work) you might get angry. However, for a lot of men, I think, this anger comes from their own inability to understand what they need. So, it will be like, they’re tired, but don’t understand that they’re tired, so don’t go to sleep. Then, in an emotionally depleted state, they’re highly prone to small triggers (like, the phone rings and they get pissed off.) And, women will manage this. But, it sucks. It fucking suckkks.”

What I’m Doing To Get My Black Ass Ready For The Next 4 Years, The Establishment.

Texas to implement rules requiring burial or cremation of fetal remains, Texas Tribune.

Ivanka Trump’s Terrible Book Helps Explain The Trump Family Ethos, The New Yorker.

Beware Donald Trump’s Infrastructure Plan, The New Republic.

Van Jones: “Hope for the Best, Expect and Prepare for the Worst”, Mother Jones. (Apologies if I share this already, but I think I forgot to put it here after I first read it.)

We Asked 8,500 Internet Commenters Why They Do What They Do, FiveThirtyEight. Related: this comment from FiveThirtyEight.

After a Breakup, an App to Help Breathe, Then Run, The New York Times.

The Hidden Epidemic of Men Who Are Raped by Women, Broadly.

How Stable Are Democracies? ‘Warning Signs Are Flashing Red’*, The New York Times.

Reddit Is Tearing Itself Apart, Gizmodo.

The Array of Conflicts of Interest Facing the Trump Presidency, The New York Times.

Donald Trump’s Cabinet assembly instructions, Washington Post.

How to Manipulate Donald Trump, Slate.

The Trump Bros Have Found Their Safe Space, BuzzFeed.

Trump’s Lies Destroy Logic As Well As Truth*, The New Republic.

Loving My Son, After His Death, The New York Times.

Finding Hope in a Loveless Place, Tressie Mc.

Why the Casey Affleck Sexual-Harassment Allegations Just Won’t Stick, New York Magazine.

Facebook Runs Up Against German Hate Speech Laws, The New York Times.

Good Twitter threads: “White supremacy isn’t about what is in somebody’s heart. It’s about who wields political power.” “Revoking citizenship threats should scare you.” How Trump manipulates the media (in his own words), a guide for interpreting the language of fascists, a single day of reporting on Trump, “historical narcissism” is ridiculous, and just a bunch of chill pieces the New York Times wrote to normalize Hitler back in the day.

14 Tips That Will Make Doing Thanksgiving Dishes So Much Easier, BuzzFeed. These are legit; pin for next year/re-read before Christmas.

Police Set Up A Camera In Kansas To Find A Mountain Lion And WTF Is Happening, BuzzFeed.

19 Pregnancy Brain Fails That Will Make You Laugh Then Say “Huh?”, BuzzFeed.

Entertained by

This perfect summary of how I feel watching Westworld. This delightfully batty video. The Hamilton episode of Drunk History. The Cheerios website’s user-submitted recipes. This grandpa.

Comfort & Joy

DIY circus animal cookie ornaments.

Leslie Odom, Jr.’s Christmas album.

Also, on Friday night, I did something I’ve been meaning to do for like two years: went through several of profiles of incarcerated people seeking pen pals on this website, chose a few people, and sat down and wrote intro letters. (I found good tips for what to say and not say here.) If you’re interested, you can also use this website to help facilitate mailing. Also, if you’d like to send books to incarcerated youth, you can find Amazon wish lists here and here.

The week ahead…

Just trying to live my life like this woman.

The week in review

November 27, 2016

all white Christmas decor

This week I worked a ton, ate a lot of Brussels sprouts and also lasagna soup, put up the Christmas decorations, and pondered whether my recent uptick in nightmares was caused by the election results, Westworld, or something else entirely! Here’s what else I was up to…

Writing

Could You Pass A 1954 Home Economics Class?

16 Excellent Gifts For Woke Babies

What Should You Do With Your Mom While You’re Home For Thanksgiving?

People Are Having A Field Day With This “Make America Great Again” Ornament

People Are Loving This Incredible Harry Potter-Themed Christmas Tree

Reading

Note: items marked with a * are especially terrifying. I mean, the majority of the political links here are deeply upsetting, but these are the ones that are particularly ~end of days~ way. I don’t think people shouldn’t read those things – quite the opposite — but I do understanding wanting to be in a certain mindset for the particularly heavy shit.

On Rural America: Understanding Isn’t The Problem, Forsetti’s Justice. This is so, so, so good. It also led to a Trump voter who I literally don’t even know screeching at me on Facebook that (among other things) farmers are “the backbone of America,” and also saying that I, who she believed wrote the article (???), am ignorant. 

Blaming Clinton’s Base for Her Loss Is the Ultimate Insult, New York Magazine. Rebecca Traister is so great. 

‘Normal America’ Is Not A Small Town Of White People, FiveThirtyEight. This is so interesting! 

Valeria Luiselli: This Is How The World Ends?, Literary Hub.

Pat McCrory Lost the North Carolina Governorship. Now He’s Trying to Steal It., Slate. “What’s happening in North Carolina is not mere politics. It is a perversion of democracy.”

Prepare For Regime Change, Not Policy Change*, Dissent Magazine.

We’re heading into dark times. This is how to be your own light in the Age of Trump*, The Correspondent. “You still have your freedom, so use it. There are many groups organizing for both resistance and subsistence, but we are heading into dark times, and you need to be your own light. Do not accept brutality and cruelty as normal even if it is sanctioned. Protect the vulnerable and encourage the afraid. If you are brave, stand up for others. If you cannot be brave – and it is often hard to be brave – be kind.”

The First Senator to Endorse Donald Trump Is a Longtime Opponent of Civil Rights, The Nation. A good (and scary) primer on Trump’s pick for attorney general.

We have 100 days to stop Donald Trump from systemically corrupting our institutions*, Vox.

The Hamilton-Pence Incident Was More Than Just a Distraction, Vulture.

The First Black Friday, by William Bradford., McSweeney’s.

A Sea of Charter Schools in Detroit Leaves Students Adrift, The New York Times. A background on what charter schools — something Betsy DeVos is all about — do to students and to the education system.

“If Mama Ain’t Happy Ain’t Nobody Happy”: Revised and Expanded, McSweeney’s.

Many in Florida Count on Obama’s Health Law, Even Amid Talk of Its Demise, The New York Times.

Dark Meat, Slate. I read this right after I read this incredibly charming piece on Eater about the Butterball Turkey Talk-Line. Blargh.

White nationalists? Alt-right? If you see a Nazi, say Nazi, Lindy West in The Guardian. “But if declaring the superiority of the white race, quoting Nazi propaganda, calling for ‘peaceful ethnic cleansing’, and provoking Nazi salutes from his audience isn’t enough to qualify one as a neo-Nazi, then where on earth is the bar? What is the hesitation? And, given the close ties between the ‘alt-right’ and Trump’s cabinet, how is the top story on every front page not some version of ‘NEO-NAZIS ATTEMPTING TO SEIZE CONTROL OF AMERICAN GOVERNMENT’?”

How Fake News Goes Viral: A Case Study, The New York Times.

Stop Calling It ‘Identity Politics’ — It’s Civil Rights, The Establishment. “They want marginalized groups to stop fighting for civil rights because that would upset poor white people who might otherwise vote Democratic, if not for minorities and women pushing their issues. Unequivocally, this is a call for white supremacy. Telling minorities or other marginalized groups that their issues are ‘distractions,’ and that they must be subservient to the issues of white men is a path that leads right back to 1950s America. It certainly isn’t a path that leads to equality or racial justice.”

Stereotype-defying Trump voters have no regrets, Financial Times.

A Muted Alarm Bell Over Russian Election Hacking, The New York Times.

How the Loyal Opposition Will Work in Trump’s America*, New York Magazine.

8-year-old hospitalized after beating by white bullies who told his sister ‘go back to the cotton farm’, Raw Story.

How Delivering Meals To Seniors Showed Me The Real New York, BuzzFeed. This is lovely.

Why I Left White Nationalism, The New York Times.

Donald Trump Personally Blasts the Press, The New Yorker.

Donald Trump Won on White-Male Resentment—but Don’t Confuse That With the Working Class, The Nation.

Talking to Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie, the Beauty Brand Ambassador We All Need Right Now, Racked. “I think America is at a strange place now. But I think women still need to know what damn moisturizer works in the winter.”

The stories, headlines and bylines are fake. But the money pouring in is very real, The News & Observer.

This thread*. “He wants Bannon not just because the dude is a Nazi. But because it is an obedience test. …There is never one single test, a poll asking ‘Is it OK to kill Jews?'”

More good threads: on the political economy of many poor white working-class Trump voters, on the fact that “economic anxiety” is only an excuse that certain people can use, how to prepare for being tear gassed, “identity politics” are economic issues, on the myth of “real America”, what “law and order” means, and a bunch of Brazilian butt lifts, tummy tucks, and breast augmentations.

Literally Just 22 Hilarious Tumblr Posts About Sex, BuzzFeed.

Politician Who Criticized Squirrels Gets Hospitalized By Squirrel, The Huffington Post. “It was like a suicide bomber.”

Comfort & Joy

Miss Conduct’s 12 peeves of Christmas, Boston Globe.

A peace and justice advent calendar, Reading My Tea Leaves.

My two favorite Christmas playlists: Jazz & Blues Christmas (I love this playlist SO MUCH) and French Christmas songs (very good background music and also good for appearing cooler than you are).

Amazon wish list for children of incarcerated women.

Pintrill has everything 20% off until midnight tonight (and 25% off if you buy four pins) and their pins are so cute and make great gifts.

Buying

This year, I continued my tradition of buying some new clothes for myself on Black Friday! I replaced a bunch of my sweaters, because I have been wearing the same ones every day for the past four autumns/winters and am starting to get tired of a few of them, TBH. So I bought two J. Crew Holly sweaters (currently 40% off; gray and blossom; size small; I also loved this one but ultimately decided against it). I also ordered the J. Crew Factory version because I really wanted a light blue sweater (currently 50% off), and I bought a navy blue cable knit sweater from Muji (it’s so soft! size small; currently 15% off; also loved this one). Oh, and before the holiday, I ordered two more of the Uniqlo flannel shirts I wrote about here (currently on sale for $19.90, or $10 off). Thus concludes my shopping adventures until April!

Loving

This charming video of women making globes, “me after getting some dick”, this dude, and “France is bacon”.

The week ahead…

Eagerly awaiting my Christmas tree’s arrival! 

The week in review

November 20, 2016

Art by Quill & Fox

Art by Quill & Fox, buy the card here

This week, I went to an event at The Wing, completed open enrollment (very important), went wild at Flying Tiger and Target, and saw Something Rotten! with my mom, who was in town. (We both loved it; two of my friends had told me it was better than Book of Mormon, and I concur. If you get a chance to see it before it closes on Jan. 1, I recommend it!)

Here’s what I was reading this week…

The Unwinding by George Packer.

An analysis of Donald Trump’s election win and the prospects for his presidency, Tom Freeman on Medium. Really enjoyed the chart.

#917: “How to set boundaries with people who think boundaries and hurt are manipulative?” on Captain Awkward. A must-read if you’re dreading dealing with shitty people over the holidays. Particularly this part:

“Bigots think that ‘everyone’ thinks as they do and that their views are ‘simple common sense.’ What bigots are looking for when they say bigoted stuff to people who (as far as they know) share their race/class/orientation/disability status/etc. is solidarity and reassurance. Deny them this reassurance and solidarity. Deny them evidence that ‘everyone’ thinks that way. That is your power here, and it’s a pretty big one.

Whenever I set a boundary here in moderation & dealing with (thankfully rare) trolling, I get pushback along the lines of ‘Well, with that attitude how do you expect to convert someone like me to your way of thinking?’ The answer to that is: I don’t know, I’m not necessarily doing to convince you. I’m doing it for myself and for the other people who hang out here, so that we can feel safe and have the discussions we need to have. When you push back against someone’s bigoted remarks, this Thanksgiving (for one looming example) or at any other time, you’re not necessarily doing it to change that person’s heart or mind right in that minute. You’re doing it for yourself, so you can live with yourself and know that you did your best. And you’re doing it for the other people in your family, especially kids who are watching, to say, hey, I am a safe, kind person who doesn’t put up with this crap and you can be one, too.”

Van Jones: “Hope for the Best, Expect and Prepare for the Worst”, Mother Jones.

Obama Reckons with a Trump Presidency, The New Yorker.

Trump’s Proving That Those Who Called Clinton “The Lesser Of Two Evils” Didn’t Know What Evil Looked Like, VSB. “Perhaps Clinton wouldn’t have made things better. But this type of thinking ignored the very real possibility of one candidate making things much, much, much worse. There’s a difference between occasionally problematic status quo and actual evil. Not evil in name only. Or ‘evil’ as a hyperbolic and hysterical way of articulating something that rubs you the wrong way. But real evil.”

Teaching 1984 in 2016, The Atlantic.

Tess Rafferty’s hard-hitting statement on the election of Trump., Daily Kos. “I tried to be polite, but now I just don’t give a damn, because let’s be honest, we don’t live in polite America anymore. We live in ‘grab ‘em by the pussy’ America now. So thank you for that, being polite was exhausting.”

This Is How Facebook Is Radicalizing You, BuzzFeed.

Aftermath: Sixteen Writers on Trump’s America, The New Yorker. Be sure to read Hilary Mantel’s.

Are You Fucking Kidding Me by “Hillary Clinton” on Medium.

Inside College Basketball’s Most Political Locker Room, The New York Times.

The Myths Democrats Swallowed That Cost Them the Presidential Election, Newsweek.

It’s not safe to wear my hijab now that Trump will be president, Fusion.

Give Steve Bannon a chance. It’s not like he’s literally Joseph Goebbels., Washington Post.

Put the Blame for Hillary’s Loss Where It Belongs, Anita Finlay.

Why White Women Continue to Back the GOP, The Atlantic.

8 Steps White Folks Can Take Before Unfriending a Bigot on Facebook, Everyday Feminism.

What Normalization Means, The New Yorker.

Trump supporters are living in a reality shaped by television, says a Harvard professor, Quartz. I read this a while ago but I don’t think I shared it here. But I’ve been thinking about it a lot since I read it.

How These Neon Vests Became the Uniform of Abortion Clinic Defenders Nationwide, Racked.

Twitter threads: Leah McElrath on the reality of Putin and the KGB, Ashley Lynch on Trump’s unprecedented conflicts of interest, Alexandra Erin on the spoils system, @hyenagirl64 on what fascism is, Genevieve Valentine with tips for Trump supporters who want to reach out to POC right now, and Josh Shahryar on the idea that Democrats must coddle white men — and pretend that “cultural issues” are somehow not economic — to win future elections.

Helen Rosner on why it’s fucked up that Trump eats his steak well-done, why you need to get over the idea that Bernie could have won, and how to actually stop Donald Trump.

Area Man Considers Self Ally To Women Unless They Threaten His Status In Literally Any Way, The Onion. You know who you are.

We Regret to Inform You That Dirty Deeds Will No Longer Be Done Dirt Cheap, McSweeney’s.

23 Tweets That Will Make You Say “Me” And “Also Me”, BuzzFeed.

The Year’s Worst Sex Writing Is the Best Thing You’ll Read Today, GQ.

The week ahead…

Working the holiday, but keeping an on both Black Friday sales and my Christmas playlists. P.S. As you start doing your holiday shopping, consider grabbing a few items from this Amazon wish list for kids whose moms are incarcerated in Illinois.

Your post-election reading list

November 13, 2016

Art by Penelope Dullaghan for A Cup of Jo

This week was my first experience with mass, shared grief. And, as tragedies are wont to do, it all just happened so fast.

On Monday night, I wrote in my journal: Today felt like the last day of “Before.” God help us tomorrow. But Tuesday morning was bright and brisk, a perfect fall day. It felt like a happy, fancy, special occasion. By 8:15 a.m., I had voted and also cried three times. I took a bunch of “I voted” selfies that I never got around to posting. I knew it was going to be a long day, so I just tried to stay focused at work — put my head down, stay off Facebook, try not to worry, etc. That night, I watched the results come in at the BuzzFeed office. They produced the live show on the 13th floor, but I was on 12 with a group of about 20 people.

Just before 9 p.m., we heard a coworker become upset. It took a second for it to become clear what had happened, but then we learned that she had just seen Hillary’s “Whatever happens tonight, thank you for everything” tweet, and she felt like that meant she was giving up. Even though it was still early, a sense of dread rolled through the room like a wave and it never really left. A couple minutes later, Dallas texted me that she was worried. She hadn’t seen that tweet, but she was worried. And then, within a few minutes, I got texts from four other people. Every single one either said “I’m scared” or “I feel sick.” We weren’t all watching the same channel. No new states had been called. But within a five minute period, this shift happened and that was it.

Wednesday was awful for me, as I’m sure it was for most of you. One of the first things I saw when I woke up, after I saw that Trump had officially won, was the breakdown of the exit polls. And I just felt so betrayed. Getting out the door took so much effort. It was a cloudy day, but it also just seemed…dark. Like I wasn’t seeing the world in actual color. When I walked into the office, I saw my coworker Augusta first, and she hugged me for like five minutes and we just sobbed. We all cried pretty much all day. BuzzFeed had puppies brought in for us to play with, which was the nicest and BuzzFeediest thing they could have done.

And now it’s Sunday and the world is so different and I mostly feel numb and I don’t know what to say except I’m sorry and I hope you are all doing OK and starting to take steps to protect yourselves and those you love, and here are a lot of things for you to read.

Everyone should read…

Shattered, New York Magazine.

A Time for Refusal, The New York Times. “Evil settles into everyday life when people are unable or unwilling to recognize it. It makes its home among us when we are keen to minimize it or describe it as something else.”

An American Tragedy, The New Yorker.

This thread on taking care of yourself.

If you want to cry…

Mourning Trump and the America We Could Have Been, The New Yorker. “As psychologists note, after a death we mourn not only the deceased but also the version of ourselves we got to be with that person. What makes Clinton’s defeat unique, I think, is that we’re grieving for the nation we could have been, a nation some of us feel we are: a nation that elected a female President and rejected the rhetoric of nativism and fear that Donald Trump so casually embraced.”

Hillary Clinton’s Grace Is Yours, Jezebel.

Her Loss, The New York Times. “We, as a culture, do not take women seriously on a profound level. We do not believe women. We do not trust women. We do not like women. I understand that many men cannot see it, and plenty more do not care. I know that many men will read this and laugh, or become defensive, or call me hysterical, or worse, and that’s fine. I am used to it. It doesn’t make me wrong.”

The Day After The Election, I Told My Daughter The Truth, BuzzFeed.

The Pride and Privilege of Symbolic Voting, Jezebel.

My Plan For Making Peace With President-Elect Trump, GQ.

‘What Do I Say?’: Stories From the Classroom After Election Day, Jezebel.

And SNL‘s cold open.

If you want to laugh (and then probably cry)…

Every Way Jezebel Described Donald Trump During the Presidential Election, Jezebel.

19 Totally Real Conversations Obama And Biden Have Had Since The Election, BuzzFeed. “Joe.”

This fantastic Tumblr post, followed immediately by Donald Trump Doesn’t Like This Any More Than You Do on Deadspin.

15 People Who Just Need To Get Over Losing Already, BuzzFeed.

This guy calling out his sexist father on Facebook. Seth Meyers on Wednesday morning. This hed. This tweet and this one. And this absolutely perfect mashup.

If you want smart people saying smart things…

I’m a Coastal Elite From the Midwest: The Real Bubble is Rural America, Roll Call. “We, as a culture, have to stop infantilizing and deifying rural and white working-class Americans. Their experience is not more of a real American experience than anyone else’s, but when we say that it is, we give people a pass from seeing and understanding more of their country.”

How Trump Made Hate Intersectional, NY Mag.

White Won, Slate.

Heather Havrilesky on the way Midwesterners talk (or don’t talk) about race and culture. This thread is spot on.

Blaming political correctness for Trump is like blaming the civil rights movement for Jim Crow, The Guardian. “This week, I had to listen to supposedly reasonable, leftist men – not trolls this time – insist that Trump’s victory was at least partially a result of ‘divisiveness’ and ‘incivility’ and ‘political correctness gone too far’. This is the consequence of ‘confrontational movements’, one man told me on Twitter. There’s always a backlash. ‘Learn from this,’ he admonished. As though any social-justice movement in history got anywhere by asking politely and taking a seat. As though there was some magical moment in the semi-recent past when we’d reached a perfect stasis – no racism, no sexism and white dudes could still have a chill time – but those greedy feminists just had to keep pushing.” Thank you, Lindy West.

Facebook, I’m Begging You, Please Make Yourself Better, The Intercept.

There is no “person at the top” to fix everything.

Please Stop Saying Poor People Did This, Jezebel.

Siyanda Mohutsiwa’s thread on how white men are radicalized online.

6 Books to Help Understand Trump’s Win, The New York Times. (I bought The Unwinding and am starting it tonight — click the link in the NYT article to read a full review of it.)

How Trump Conned America, Slate.

Is This the Second Redemption?, The Atlantic.

I Will Never Underestimate White People’s Need To Preserve Whiteness Again, Very Smart Brothas.

America Elects a Bigot, The New York Times.

Emily Ellsworth on having your voice heard.

You have to watch Van Jones’ powerful message about the 2016 ‘whitelash’, Fusion. “We don’t want to feel that someone has been elected by throwing away some of us to appeal more deeply to others.”

President Trump’s First Term, The New Yorker. I read this a couple months ago…time for a re-read.

I’m Tired of Good White People, GQ.

The smug style in American liberalism, Vox. This is long and there is a LOT I disagree with (including the entire GWB section), but it has some good points and food for thought.

An Open Letter To Supposedly Pro-Choice, Pro-Same Sex Marriage, Non-Racist Trump Supporters, Wonkette.

27 Productive Things You Can Do If You’re Upset About The Election, BuzzFeed.

This thread on racism, this thread on “healing the divide,” this thread on the bullshit of the “real America” narrative, this reminder that “common ground” is a trap, this accurate summation of the Trump/Obama meeting, a reminder that it’s about men too, and #5 in this old post from Michael Moore, which perfectly sums up the politics so many straight white men I know.

Harry Reid’s statement. “We as a nation must find a way to move forward without consigning those who Trump has threatened to the shadows. Their fear is entirely rational, because Donald Trump has talked openly about doing terrible things to them. Every news piece that breathlessly obsesses over inauguration preparations compounds their fear by normalizing a man who has threatened to tear families apart, who has bragged about sexually assaulting women and who has directed crowds of thousands to intimidate reporters and assault African Americans. Their fear is legitimate and we must refuse to let it fall through the cracks between the fluff pieces.”

Why We Ignore the Obvious: The Psychology of Willful Blindness, Brain Pickings.

If you’re white…

What Whiteness Means in the Trump Era, The New York Times. “Conveniently, for most white Americans, being white has meant not having a racial identity. It means being and living and experiencing the world as an individual and not having to think about your race. It has meant being free of race. Some people are proud white nationalists, but probably not many of the millions who voted for Donald Trump. Thinking in terms of community would seem to be the job of black people. The Trump campaign has disrupted that easy freedom.”

Once Again, Black Women Did The Work White Women Refused To, Very Smart Brothas.

Kareem Abdul-Jabbar: What it means to be black during a Trump administration, The Washington Post. “Let the other groups denigrated and threatened by Trump speak for themselves. The women, immigrants, Muslims, Jews, the LGBT community and others who now must walk through the streets of their country for the next four years in shame and fear, knowing that their value as human beings has been diminished by their neighbors. I only speak for myself as an African American and I speak with the rage of betrayal.”

Stop Telling Me to Fight, Sojourners. “All of you who are going home for Thanksgiving need to make this year’s dinner a NAAWP (National Association for the Advancement of White People) meeting and decide that the ‘advancement’ portion of your organization’s name is finally going to mean that you are taking it upon yourselves to advance your beliefs and morals and, above all, your maturity. Because what we have in front of us — a Trump presidency — is ridiculous. It is so flat-out ridiculous and yet so real, and here’s an even bigger yet for you: You should have seen it coming.”

Hey White People: You Need To Start Doing The Ugly Work That Isn’t Safe For Us To, Feministing.

The Cinemax Theory of Racism, Whatever, Scalzi.

This reminder (from me) that if you’re white, and you’re silent, we really don’t actually know where you stand.

If you want a tiny bit of politics-free joy…

This tweet, this one, and this little baby fox.

If you’re pretty sure that this is how it all ends (and/or you want others to understand why you think that)…

Autocracy: Rules for Survival, The New York Review of Books. This takes a little while to get going, but keep reading.

Climate change may be escalating so fast it could be ‘game over’, scientists warn, Independent.

What to Expect Under a Trump Administration – Part One and Part Two, Leah McElrath.

Racist Messages Sent To Black UPenn Students Linked To Oklahoma Student, BuzzFeed.

A Running List Of Reported Racist Incidents After Donald Trump’s Victory, BuzzFeed.

One woman’s experience with the alt-right.

The forces that drove this election’s media failure are likely to get worse, Nieman Lab.

With Trump, Coal Wins, Planet Loses, The New Yorker.

Is this the end of the West as we know it?, The Washington Post.

The Mike Pence (Donald Trump) Assault On LGBTQ Equality Is Already Underway, The Huffington Post.

I’m a disabled American. Trump’s policies will be a disaster for people like me., Vox.

Trump’s conflicts of interest are without precedent in American presidential history, The Washington Post.

Trump’s Revenge, BuzzFeed.

Some extremely chill Breitbart heds, a GOP strategist reminding us to “stay vigilant,” actor Kumail Nanjiani being harassed in a bar, this fact, this reminder and this one what it’s like to be Jewish online right now, and a crash course in white nationalist symbols.

Oh, and this excerpt from The Handmaid’s Tale.

The week in review

November 6, 2016

1869 lithograph from Currier & Ives

We made it to November! With just two days to go, here’s what I got…

Writing

I Tried The Hipster Toothbrush That’s All Over Facebook And TBH I Loved It

Reading

The Men Feminists Left Behind, The New York Times. “Men don’t need more masculine posturing or promises to restore them to forever-gone greatness. What they need is to make their own move toward gender equality, to break down the stereotypes and fetters of masculinity.”

At-risk: Who will save our rich white boys?, Abraham Lateiner on Medium.

The real Clinton email scandal is that a bullshit story has dominated the campaign, Vox.

Latina Hotel Workers Harness Force of Labor and of Politics in Las Vegas, The New York Times. This was all over my timeline today, and for good reason. Read until the end.

What Hillary Clinton’s Fans Love About Her, The Atlantic. “They know that she is a bit too careful, but they understand that she has to be, that she cannot afford spontaneity. … Her words have been so often plucked out of context and turned into scalding weapons, her actions so falsely magnified, that she leaned into caution, wrapped herself in a kind of caution that sometimes makes her appear stilted and in the media world of appearances, stilted can mean insincere.”

Trump Is an Existential Threat, The New York Times.

This Is Not About Emails; It’s About White Males, HeartAgree.

Who Broke Politics?, The New York Times.

I Have Reason to Believe Barbara Bush Is Four Feet Tall, Jezebel. This post is a thing of beauty.

Trump boasts about his philanthropy. But his giving falls short of his words., The Washington Post.

26 Tumblr Posts That Will Speak To Anyone Who’s Not OK Right Now, BuzzFeed.

This Start-up Registered a Mind-Blowing 95,000 Women to Vote, NY Mag.

Beyond Lying: Donald Trump’s Authoritarian Reality, The New York Times.

The Revolt of the Conservative Women, The Atlantic.

Meet Hillary Clinton’s Inner Circle, the Queenmakers Who Won’t Rest Until She’s President, Newsweek.

North Carolina Is Engaging in “Insane” Jim Crow–Style Voter Suppression, Says Federal Judge, Slate.

These women needed late-term abortions—and they want Trump to know the truth, Fusion.

Open Letter to What You Did or Didn’t Do, Cosmonauts Avenue. “what do i call it if it wasn’t rape / but i still woke up the next day / feeling like i had been / completely hollowed out?”

Why Is There No Trace of Beyoncé at the CMAs?, ELLE.com.

I’m Voting for Trump Because I Miss Being Able to Grope My Secretary and Living in Constant Fear of Nuclear Annihilation, McSweeney’s.

This is Not My Beautiful House, Kim France on Medium. “Oh, I know, but you won’t believe how perfect it is and it’s not going to last.”

The Draylor (Drake And Taylor Swift) Dating Rumors, Explained, VSB.

My first virtual reality groping, Mic.

Here Are the 10 Scariest, Most Bone-Chilling Stories You’ll Read All Year and 10 More Terrifying Stories to Keep You Up at Night, Jezebel. Gahhh I love reading these every year.

I Had No Sympathy for Working Moms Till I Became One, NY Mag. This could be awful but it’s not.

The Lost Children of ‘Runaway Train’, Mel Magazine.

Behind the Scenes: Making a Magazine Cover, A Cup of Jo.

“My Abusive Husband Tried to Kill Me and Our Daughter By Flying a Plane Into Our Home”, Glamour.

Inside Equinox Gym’s Perfectly Fit World (and Top-Secret Club), GQ.

Men do not enjoy debauchery of stag dos, study finds, The Guardian. “According to the report, men succumb to peer pressure to celebrate one final night of ‘freedom’ with the groom-to-be, despite the fact that the hedonistic experiences can leave them feeling scared and degraded.” The GD motherfuckin patriarchy, I swear to god…

Hello, I’m a Social Justice Warrior, and I’m Here to Take Your Guns, McSweeney’s. Wow, it’s us.

Loving

Black Mirror (just started watching — and have been jumping around from season to season — and OMG I’m obsessed!), this tweet, this lil baby, everyone who has endorsed Trump, this thread, the first tracks from The Hamilton Mixtape (seriously, don’t listen to “It’s Quiet Uptown” unless you actually want to burst into tears), these Tim Kaine stories, and this Tasty spoof.

The week ahead…

Providing last-minute supporter housing, watching this video (trust me, it helps!), and voting. This is it, fam.

New clothes I recently bought & liked

November 3, 2016

As my IRL friends know, I keep my wardrobe pretty small and I have no qualms about wearing the same exact outfits over and over again. (I often just buy doubles of the things I love instead of buying a wider variety of clothes.) I buy a few new things, like, four times a year, and usually sort of all at once. In September I bought a few new things for the colder weather, and since I really love everything, I thought I’d share them here! Everything is extremely cozy (v. important) and goes with my standard uniform of white jeans, a pastel or neutral top (usually a sweater or sweatshirt), and tan/beige/taupe shoes. (You can see a previous iteration of this uniform here; you’ll see that very little has changed.)

Anyway, here we go!

1. Sole Society Romy booties in taupe. After deciding I wanted booties (like, a year after everyone else did), I finally pulled the trigger on these. (I really loved these and these — I really love the look of booties with a little bit of heft around the ankle — but I played it safe and went with the ones with the lowest heel height.) The Romy booties have enough of a heel to make it seem like I’m trying, but are still 100% manageable for the amount of walking (minimum of 30 minutes) that I do every day. I’ve been wearing them a lot since I got them and they are great! BTW, you can use the code IAF_V7E6A3 to get 20% off your Sole Society order. (Also if you shop Sole Society using this link, I’ll allegedly get $25 to spend at Sole Society, but I’m a liiiiiiiittle skeptical that that is true, TBH. IDK. Use the link and the code, I guess, and we’ll see what happens?)

2. ASOS Ultimate Boyfriend Sweat. I bought the nude in a petite US 6 (because the nude was sold out in the regular) and am really happy with the fit and the color. (The exact one I got is also currently sold out, but there are other colors/sizes at the link.) I wasn’t sure how it would fit but it’s perfect (it’s on the longer side — you could definitely wear it over leggings) and is SUPER cozy.

(Me wearing the sweatshirt in the spot with the best selfie lighting in the BuzzFeed office)

3. L’Ecoles Des Femmes Sage Comme Une Image sweater. I came across this brand on Instagram one day and when I went to their site, there was a 50% off sale so I bought this sweater. (P.S. There’s currently a 55% off sale happening sitewide! I used it to buy this sweatshirt.) The sweater is really really soft and cushy and just feels really nice on my skin. This was a total impulse buy, but it totally worked out.

4. Uniqlo plaid flannel shirt. I bought this in pink plaid, though I had to order it online because there were only two left in the store and neither were my size. The flannel is really soft and I love the pink. (You can browse a bunch of other color options here; I may get a second one in a different color because it’s SO comfy and cozy.) FYI, I got a size small and it’s still SUPER roomy on me. It’s totally fine — it’s a casual “boyfriend” (ugh) fit and looks good over skinny jeans — but if you prefer a slimmer fit or want to layer it under sweaters, you should size way down.

5. J. Crew Factory City Coat in Heather Stone. I initially tried on the regular J. Crew version of this coat (aka the Cocoon Coat), which my friend Lauren has and loves and says is super warm (and she lives in Chicago). I liked it, but I didn’t $350 like it, or even $230 like it, which is about what you can expect to pay with one of their frequent coupon codes. So I went to check out the J. Crew Factory options, and saw that they had a version that was much cheaper (regularly $228, but pretty much always on sale). Of course, it’s less expensive because it’s lower quality, but that’s actually fine with me in this case because I’m not looking to be buried in it. (I’ve also had great luck, quality-wise, with the many items I’ve bought at J. Crew Factory over the past few years.)

I initially took a risk and ordered the 4 petite (because they don’t keep petite sizes in stores for you to try on!?!) and the sleeves were a liiiiitttle too short, so I exchanged it for the 4 regular and it fits perfectly. It’s soft and cozy and I really love how it looks on. (I’m wearing it over the L’ecole sweater in the photo up top.) If they ever make the original Cocoon Coat in mint green or blush pink, I would absolutely pay more for it. But I was fine with spending $135 for this color/quality level.

Things I may still buy: an Everlane crewneck sweatshirt, an Everlane cashmere sweater, and this beautiful cape that had me channeling my inner Samantha Parkington.

The week in review

October 30, 2016

Thank GOD for cooler temperatures — I swear, every time the temperature drops 5 degrees, I become a little bit more myself.

fall leaves

This week was really good! Last week, I felt like my life needed the equivalent of restarting a computer (but, like, checking the box that re-opens the exact same windows after the restart, not a hard reset or anything drastic) so I made getting out of bed earlier/on time my priority. I thought if I did that, maybe I’d feel more balanced and confident and just better, and would have an easier time reframing some things I was stuck on. And it…actually worked! (It was just a matter of using the Sleepyti.me website, being realistic about how long it takes me to get out the door in the morning, and yelling at myself via my alarm label.) I felt more productive, focused, and motivated than I have in a while. HUH!

Anyway, the week was pretty full and I spent today hiking, so I didn’t have time to round up my favorite links for you (at least not without undermining the aforementioned sleep schedule). But I posted some really good ones throughout the week on Facebook, and I’ll post this week’s links next time. Have a great Halloween and a lovely first week of November!

The week in review

October 23, 2016

By Nan Lawson

Art by Nan Lawson; buy the print here.

Hello, hello! Here’s what I got up to this week…

Writing

Stop What You’re Doing And Look At This Hot Harry Potter Boudoir Shoot

Reading

Three excellent and related pieces from Racked: A Closer Look at Debate Makeup, The New Pantsuit, and Meet the Makeup Artist Who Remade Hillary, Picked Lint Off Bernie.

Hillary Clinton’s Locker-Room Talk, NY Mag. “Ben Carson looked desperately at Paul Ryan, wanting him to do something, anything. Paul just shrugged. What could he do? She was the president now. If she wanted to hang out in congressional locker rooms and “inspect the goods” (as she liked to say), how could anyone stop her? ‘Ben,’ Paul Ryan whispered. ‘You know that if you’re in charge, you get to do whatever you want to the people beneath you. That’s what we believe.’ Ben nodded. Of course that was right. How could that not be right?”

“You Girls Having Fun?”, Eater. This is SO good.

Are You Ready to Meet Your Fixer Uppers?, Texas Monthly.

The last debate: Donald Trump doesn’t care about democracy, The Washington Post. “I would be happy to talk about Aleppo, but honestly, it would pain me for people around the globe to have to hear him talk about Aleppo.”

Hillary Clinton’s 3 debate performances left the Trump campaign in ruins, Vox.

Children Don’t Always Live, The New York Times. “When I realized Greta would not live, I wanted to die so purely, and so simply. I could feel my heart gazing up at me quizzically, asking me in between beats: ‘Are you sure you want me to keep doing this?’ But I found I could not give the order. Since my son was born, I’ve caught myself making concrete plans for my suicide if he were to die. I will draft a letter to my parents, or even tell them face-to-face. ‘I’m going to meet my children,’ I will say. If the world takes this one, I am not meant to be here. It is a frightening thought because it is so logical. How would anyone argue me out of it? Who would even try?”

Thousands of California soldiers forced to repay enlistment bonuses a decade after going to war, LA Times.

I WENT UNDERCOVER INTO THE TRUMP CAMPAIGN… AND COULDN’T BELIEVE WHAT I FOUND, Scott David Shapiro on Medium. This hed is awful but the piece is actually really interesting!

The Weird Economics Of Ikea, FiveThirtyEight.

Lainey Is Yours in Gossip, The Ringer.

When My Grandkids Ask Me What I Did to Fight American Fascism, I’ll Proudly Tell Them I Tweeted a Few Times., McSweeney’s.

When truth is stranger than fiction: TV writers weigh in on the presidential campaign, Los Angeles Times.

What 130 of the Worst Shootings Say About Guns in America, The New York Times.

Nasty women have much work to do, The Washington Post.

Shedding the Third Tear: Donald Trump’s Kitschy World, Los Angeles Review of Books.

Hillary Clinton Has a Power That No Man Can Take Away, Slate.

23 Real AF Jokes That Will Make All Feminists Laugh, BuzzFeed. “ITEMS EVERY WOMAN SHOULD OWN: -Little Black Dress -Cute flats -Strappy s- ok now that the men have stopped reading, we revolt at dawn.”

Everything you’ve ever wanted to know about my abortion, Bridget Todd on Medium.

7 Popular Mormon Bloggers on Why They Would Never Vote for Donald Trump, NY Mag.

Eight Women in Love, n+1.

This Is Not Forever: How to Break Up, Brooklyn Magazine. “Don’t let yourself make a museum of them, don’t scroll through old texts and old photographs, don’t like their Instagram posts from 2014. Don’t imagine them coming back. Don’t ask mutual friends if they’re seeing someone new. Don’t put your heart in the fire anymore.”

Loving

Black Jeopardy! and A Girl’s Halloween (SO painfully real), PBS’s Hamilton special and this Hamilton/Hillary rap, the trailer for Good Girls Revolt, this fantasy gender reveal, the return of Jane the Virgin, and the moment people realized they were dating idiots.

The week ahead…

Prepping for Halloween on The Today Show!

The week in review

October 16, 2016

Illustration by Charlotte Gomez

On Monday, the day after the debate, I took my work inbox from 4600 emails* down to zero. *Read emails, I’m not a monster. It was amazing. Highly recommend as an alternative to mindlessly scrolling through Twitter for hours.

Also, we had adorable baby animals in our office.

Here’s what else I got up to this week!

Writing

Stop What You’re Doing And Look At This Hot Harry Potter Boudoir Shoot

Reading

Trump’s One Public Service Was Exposing the Misogyny of the GOP, NY Mag.

How to Be a Man in the Age of Trump, The New York Times. “‘Don’t sexually assault women’ (or, for that matter, ‘Don’t get a girl pregnant’) is an awfully low bar for acceptable behavior. It does little to address the complexity of boys’ lives, the presumption of their always-down-for-it sexuality, the threat of being called a ‘pussy’ if you won’t grab one, the collusion that comes with keeping quiet. Boys need continuing, serious guidance about sexual ethics, reciprocity, respect. Rather than silence or swagger, they need models of masculinity that are not grounded in domination or aggression.”

I Was Pregnant, And Then I Wasn’t, BuzzFeed. Prepare to weep when reading this.

Bias Isn’t Just A Police Problem, It’s A Preschool Problem, NPR.

The Wing: Do Women Still Need a Space of Their Own?, NY Mag.

The Snarling Girl, Hazlitt. “What makes a work of art special and meaningful is your private relationship with it, the magic of finding it amidst the noise and distraction, the magic of letting it speak to you directly. You found it, it’s yours. (This, however, requires the awesome skill of being able to think for yourself in the first place; hardly a given.) Art can change you; it can move and validate and shift and bait and wreck and kindle you in the best way. And others who feel similarly about said work can be your kin. It is not a more-is-better equation.”

Shakespeare Explains the 2016 Election, The New York Times.

How #TrumpDrSeuss Hilariously Stole Twitter, The Huffington Post.

The irony of ironies: Trump destroys the brand, The Washington Post.

Donald Trump’s Interesting 24 Hours, The New Yorker. “2:36 p.m. Receives a text message. Heart skips a beat—Putin?!?! 2:37 p.m. Asks an aide who Mike Pence is.”

I’m one of the Central Park Five. Donald Trump won’t leave me alone., The Washington Post.

It Hurts to Admit This, But Mascots Is a Tragedy, Jezebel. Every word of this is extremely true.

How Hillary Became ‘Hillary’, The New York Times.

The white flight of Derek Black, The Washington Post.

Rush Limbaugh Takes a Stand Against Consensual Sex, The Stranger.

Corporate Life Hack: Be More Like Al Roker., Small Business Forum.

Loving

This tweet and the follow up, Fleabag on Amazon, Ezra Klein on Hillary Clinton, Alex Jones (the Infowars guy) melting down here and here, this wild demonstration of male bullshit, Seth Meyers at the Pentagon, Michelle Obama’s New Hampshire speech (good thread on it here), these young feminists, and this incredible Halloween video.

The week ahead…

It’s about time to start making some Halloween costumes!

The week in review

October 9, 2016

Teamed up with the wonderful Will Varner on this comic. 

WHEW! What a week! What a WEEKEND! It seems like so long ago that we were watching Lucius Malfoy lie through his teeth in the VP debate, and yet that was still just a few days ago!

Woof. Here’s what else I was up to this week…

Writing

22 Genius Tips Every Picky Eater Should Try

Make America Rape Again

My thoughts on the idea that the GOP only denounced Trump when he comes for white women. (FYI, the tweets aren’t showing in order on my desktop but it’s fine in the Twitter app.)

Reading

Donald Trump, Shamer in Chief, The Nation. This is probably the best thing I’ve read during this election. Long read, but worth the time.

Mike Pence loves Big Donald, The Washington Post. Alexandra Petri is a treasure.

The Pences Visit Manhattan, The New Yorker.

Inside Hillary Clinton’s Betamax castle of millennial outreach, The Washington Post.

Donald and Billy on the Bus, The New York Times.

This Wasn’t a Debate. This Was a National Gaslighting., Slate.

Kellyanne Conway’s Political Machinations, The New Yorker.

Trump: ‘I Know That Was Pretty Bad, But Let’s Just Say You’re Going To Want To Save Your Energy’, The Onion.

Throw Your Top Sheet In The Trash, BuzzFeed.

Ask Polly: I’m Trapped With a Nice Guy in the Wrong Country!, NY Mag. Another great answer from Polly.

‘We have your daughter’: A virtual kidnapping and a mother’s five hours of hell, The Washington Post.

Raising Race-Conscious Children, A Cup of Jo.

My Life in the Romance Novel Industry, Catapult.

Support Birth Of A Nation Or Not, But Just Know That Nate Parker Is Probably Peak Fuckboy, Very Smart Brothas.

Good twitter threads: all the ways Trump’s “apology” sounds exactly the same way abusers’ do, Billy Bush is trash, and why racial progress needs the law behind it.

Loving

Crucible Cast Party, Kellyanne’s day off, and what it’s like watching conservative Twitter right now.

The week ahead…

I’ll see you on the other side of this debate! Godspeed.

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