The week in review

August 21, 2016

Boots

Hi, guys! Besides hanging out with a chill Pomeranian named Boots at a pool party, here’s what I got up to this week…

Writing

Guys, We Need To Talk About Pooping & Farting In Romantic Relationships

Can You Get Through This Post Without Yelling “What The FUCK, People?!”

Here’s How To Use A Bullet Journal For Better Mental Health

Reading

I finished reading The Girls this weekend and am going to start The Nest tonight.

Enjoli by Kristi Coulter on Medium. “Is it really that hard, being a First World woman? Is it really so tough to have the career and the spouse and the pets and the herb garden and the core strengthening and the oh-I-just-woke-up-like-this makeup and the face injections and the Uber driver who might possibly be a rapist? Is it so hard to work ten hours for your rightful 77% of a salary, walk home past a drunk who invites you to suck his cock, and turn on the TV to hear the men who run this country talk about protecting you from abortion regret by forcing you to grow children inside your body? I mean, what’s the big deal? Why would anyone want to soften the edges of this glorious reality?”

Did I Kill Gawker?, New York Magazine. This is fantastic.

Dee Dee Wanted Her Daughter To Be Sick, Gypsy Wanted Her Mom To Be Murdered, BuzzFeed. This. Is. Wild.

The Era of ‘The Bitch’ Is Coming, The Atlantic.

Quiz: What Garden of Earthly Delights Abomination Are You?, Dirge. I laughed out loud.

The Science of How and Why We Swear, Gizmodo.

In U.S. Jails, a Constitutional Clash Over Air-Conditioning, The New York Times.

This Is What’s Missing From Journalism Right Now, Mother Jones.

Fighting Frizz? Then You Should’ve Put a Shower Cap on It, The New York Times. I went into this being like BLACK WOMEN HAVE BEEN DOING THIS FOR YEARS, NEW YORK TIMES. But then I learned about turban shower caps so I’m not mad anymore.

Nate Parker’s Alleged Rape And The Limits of Hollywood Damage Control, BuzzFeed.

How Nate Parker’s Rape Charges Divided Penn State’s Campus, BuzzFeed.

Nate Parker and the Limits of Empathy, The New York Times.

Asked and Answered: “This country needs more spunk.” I…legitimately wept when reading this letter.

19 Of The Funniest “Roses Are Red…” Tweets, BuzzFeed. You’re welcome.

Entertained by

Ali Wong’s standup special on Netflix. This episode of Death, Sex, and Money. The second story, “The Girl Died,” is just…wow. Also this story and this story from The Moth. Oh, and Deanna G. Carter, subway hero.

The week ahead…

Still staring at this tweet probably.

The week in review

August 14, 2016

Photo by Matt Crump https://mattcrump.com/products/sandys

Photo: Matt Crump (buy a print here)

Here’s what I was up to this week when I wasn’t complaining about the weather or weeping over Simones Biles and Manuel…

Writing

16 Times “You In Danger, Girl” Is The Only Correct Response

Reading

I re-read Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban, which I’m pretty sure I haven’t read since high school. I’d always thought of it as my favorite of the series, and this re-reading confirmed that.

The Justice Department’s stunning report on the Baltimore Police Department, The Washington Post. I…thought I could not be shocked my racism anymore. I was wrong! I felt physically ill by the time I finished reading this.

I Was the One Who Bought George Zimmerman’s Gun., McSweeney’s. Amazing.

A Celebration of the Beautiful, Lightly Deranged PR Emails We Get From Period Undie-Makers Thinx, Jezebel.

Why Do So Many Men Whisper ‘Hey’ After Fucking You?, Jezebel.

This Is Katie F—ing Ledecky: A Thesis About Kicking Ass, Grantland.

Face Masks: Everything You’ve Always Wanted To Know (And Also Some Stuff You Didn’t), Man Repeller. “If you’re like me (and for your sake, I hope you’re not), only four things in this world keep you going: friends, family, career fulfillment and spending 10-12 hours a week reading online testimonials from British and Korean teenagers about face masks. I spend all of my free time, and, by some miracle, most of my ‘work’ time, participating in the tight-knit international community of cold goo enthusiasts.” This author, is SO funny; you will not regret signing up for her Tiny Letter here.

Donald Trump and the Long History of White Men Claiming Fraud, New York Magazine.

LIT History: Meet the real women behind the upcoming film ‘Hidden Figures’, Blavity. I am so excited to read this book next month when it comes out and to see this movie!

Flint is Family, ELLE.com.

I’m Latino. I’m Hispanic. And they’re different, so I drew a comic to explain., Vox.

The Bullet Journal Works Because It Soothes Your Panicky Mind, The Science of Us.

Inside The Craziest, Raunchiest, Most Politically Incorrect Animated Comedy Ever, BuzzFeed.

Simone Biles Vs. The Racists: Are Black Gymnasts The New Black QBs?, Deadspin.

Love the Fig, The New Yorker. “Although many people dismiss figs as a geriatric delicacy or the sticky stuff inside bad cookies, they are, in fact, something awesome: enclosed flowers that bloom modestly inward, unlike the flamboyant showoffs on other plants. Bite a fig in half and you’ll discover a core of tiny blossoms.” Um, and also wasp mummies?! IDK science is incredible, you guys…just read it.

Things Not Even Tolerated by the World: Christians and Hypocrisy, Samantha Field. (Further reading: The Crucifixion and #NeverTrump: What the Cross Teaches us About Politics.)

What We Learned About Trump’s Supporters This Week, The New Yorker.

What It Means to Smell Like a Man, MEL Magazine.

Donald Trump is a parody of American manhood — and that’s what lifts him, The L.A. Times.

Why Women Are Living in the Discomfort Zone, The Wall Street Journal.

22 Amazing Photos Of Female Olympians Screaming Their Fucking Heads Off, BuzzFeed.

This Guy’s Tweet To A Female Cyclist Is The Ultimate In Mansplaining, BuzzFeed.

Martha Karolyi and her husband, Bela, were great coaches. They also allegedly beat their gymnasts., Slate.

17 Olympic Gymnasts From 1908 Who Will Make You Say “Yeah, I Could Probably Do That”, BuzzFeed.

27 Pictures Make You Way Happier Than They Should, BuzzFeed.

Wanting

The mozzarella stuffed rosemary and Parmesan soft pretzels. Too bad my kitchen is like 95 degrees!

Loving

These letters to HRC, this wise woman, this perfect burn, this incredible embroidery, everything pictured in this home tour, this excellent tweet (I LOLd), and Hillary Clinton, meme queen.

The week ahead…

Trying not to fucking melt, obviously.

The week in review

August 7, 2016

enamel pins

(“R” and heart pin from Pintrill, envelope pin from Indie Olive, Ouija board pin from Garbage Humans — it’s sold out but I’m told it will be back in a week or so.)

Heyoh! Here’s what I had going on this week…

Writing

8 Life-Changing Things To Try In August

25 Tweets Everyone Who Hates Wearing A Bra Will Relate To

Reading

Harry Potter and the Cursed Child. :-/

At Celebrity Boot Camp, $4,100 Gets You 6 Almonds, New York Mag. So good!

#HillaryCoverageIsCrap, Blue Nation Review.

What My Divorce Taught Me About Latent Sexism In The Financial System, Bust. Oh…my god. RAGE.

The Bed-Rest Hoax, Harper’s. “Through some combination of ignorance and wishful thinking, bed rest survives. In 2009, a young woman named Samantha Burton experienced symptoms of preterm labor fifteen weeks before her due date and went voluntarily to Tallahassee Memorial Hospital. She was seen by a doctor who told her that she would have to be admitted and remain in bed. Burton, who had two small children, agreed to rest but wanted to go home. She also wanted a second opinion. The doctor told her that she would not be allowed to leave and initiated legal proceedings to confine her to the hospital. A judge found in favor of Tallahassee Memorial and issued a court order man dating hospital bed rest, medication to prolong her pregnancy, and, if necessary, forced delivery.” MORE RAGE.

I emailed my girlfriend’s boss to complain that he encroached on our relationship, Ask a Manager. OOP SRY THAT’S ONE MORE FOR YOUR RAGE FILES!

The unbearable stench of Trump’s B.S., The Washington Post.

Maybe Donald Trump has really lost his mind: What if the GOP frontrunner isn’t crazy, but simply not well?, Salon.

This FB post about Trump kicking out that baby.

Critics See Efforts by Counties and Towns to Purge Minority Voters From Rolls, The New York Times.

The Internet of Dead Girls, Jezebel.

I Replaced The Word ‘Millennials’ With ‘43-Year-Old White Men’ And Now These Headlines Are *Italian Chef Kissing Fingers Gesture*, Amanda Rosenberg on Medium.

18 “Cursed Child” Moments Which Honestly Make No Sense, BuzzFeed.

It Shouldn’t Have Taken a Khizr Khan, The Atlantic.

17 Reasons Holtzmann From “Ghostbusters” Is The Hero We All Need, BuzzFeed.

Finishing

The first week of the Two Bad Bodies workout video series, which I did for the first time last summer (full review here). It. Is. Killer.

Loving

This backpack, this patch, this tweet, this meme, and the return of everyone’s favorite cartoon dog.

The week ahead…

Watching the Olympics for the ~stories~, as we ladies like to do.

The week in review

July 31, 2016

Hello, hello! I am coming to you after nine days of staycaysh where I wrote ~15,000 words (not including the ones I wrote to angry pro-Trump/never Hillary people on Facebook). This week had some ups (tons of writing! the speeches at the DNC!) and downs (some intense anxiety! every stupid word Donald Trump tweeted with his stubby lil fingers!), but I’m currently feeling pretty good after brunch at Miriam in Brooklyn, a trip to Target, and finishing the layouts in my new bullet journal (which you can currently see more of on my Snapchat).

Reading

This election isn’t just Democrat vs. Republican. It’s normal vs. abnormal., Vox.

The Democratic National Convention, Explained For British People, BuzzFeed.

What Hillary really meant to say on her historic night, The Washington Post. “YES. CHANT. INTERRUPT ME. BY ALL MEANS. I’LL WAIT. I HAVE WAITED MY WHOLE LIFE. LORD KNOWS I CAN WAIT THIRTY MORE SECONDS WHILE YOU CHANT. GO ON. I FEED ON YOUR ANGER.”

The people who hate Hillary Clinton the most., Slate.

If you hate Hillary so much that you can’t shut up about it, go vote for Trump., Brad Lawrence on Medium. “I do not care if you hate her and think all kinds of bad things about her. Saying it, shouting it, insisting on it when there is only one other option gives that other option fuel, ammo, and an advantage. It suppresses the enthusiasm and motivation we will need voters to have to get out and vote and stop Trump. If you are hindering that just because you are bitter about things that you have made no effort to change in non election years, things that you never put any work into, or because your Jesus didn’t get the nomination instead, if you are willing to put all those vulnerable people at risk so you can shoot off your mouth… Vote Trump.”

14 Daughters Who Got to Stay Up Late to See Hillary Clinton Make History, ELLE. Gave me chills.

17 Pictures Of Bill Clinton Realizing That Balloons Exist, BuzzFeed.

People Are Sharing Pics Of Their Grandmas Celebrating Hillary Clinton’s Nomination, BuzzFeed.

An Open Letter By A #NeverHillary Supporter Who Is Definitely Not Vladimir Putin, Full Frontal on Medium.

The Democrats Are Led By Fucking Grown-Ups, And The GOP Is Led By An Adolescent Cheeto, Very Smart Brothas.

“No Relation” — Former Bernie Sanders spokesperson Symone Sanders on her road to the convention, Lenny Letter.

Seven Minutes That Shook the Convention, Politico.

Donald Trump’s slander of Captain Humayun Khan’s family is horrifying, even for Trump, Vox.

For This Republican, Never Trump Means “I’m With Her”, Caroline McCain on Medium. “He is the result of a demand for ideological purity at all costs, and the bastard child of talk radio and entertainment TV.” She went IN.
On Melania Trump’s Nude Photos, Femina Fera on Medium. Donald Trump is complicit in allowing a publication which has endorsed him to victimize his own wife. If there is any story worth talking about here, that is it.

All the reasons Trump is a fascist. This is beyond disturbing. Go watch some of the DNC speeches when you’re done with it to cleanse your soul.

The ‘smoking gun’ proving North Carolina Republicans tried to disenfranchise black voters, The Washington Post.

6 Things I Wish I Knew When I Started Working, Man Repeller.

How to be human: ‘It’s just this one thing with how we communicate…’, The Verge.

The Difficulties of Trying for a Second Child, The Ugly Volvo. Made me LOL.

Could Women Be Trusted With Their Own Pregnancy Tests?, The New York Times.

How Sulcata Tortoises Became America’s Most Adorable Mistake, BuzzFeed.

Investigations seek greater clarity in Johnathan Turner case, ESPN.

Are We Living in a Golden Age of Stunt Journalism?, Newsweek.

‘How’s Amanda?’, The Washington Post. I actually read all the stories in this series (the others are linked at the bottom of this one) and they are all great.

9 Non-Threatening Leadership Strategies for Women, The Cooper Review.

Loving

Rep. Emanuel Cleaver taking us to CHURCH.

The joy in this iconic hug.

This rendition of “Fight Song.”

This guy’s reaction to Lemonade.

This tweet and this one too.

Wanting

To try rosé all three of these ways: in a can, frozen, and with pamplemousse La Croix (which is the only remotely good kind of La Croix as far as I’m concerned).

To finish Stranger Things. I don’t hate it — though the first two episodes were a struggle — but I don’t love it either and I kinda just want to be done already.

The week ahead…

I guess I should probably figure out what I want to do for my birthday?

The week in review

July 24, 2016

doll house

This week I went to several holiday press previews, finished Season 4 of Orange is the New Black (which I have yet to recover from emotionally), and confirmed with my new dentist that I have, in fact, been grinding my teeth at night. Here’s what else I got up to…

Reading

The Yunited States of Yuge, GQ. Caity Weaver does it again.

Donald Trump’s Ghostwriter Tells All, The New Yorker.

On July 13, 2015, President Obama commuted the prison sentences of 46 nonviolent drug offenders. Here’s what their lives are like now., The Washington Post.

The R.N.C. on TV: Ivanka’s Weaponized Graciousness, The New Yorker.

The GOP is Gaslighting America — on National Television, Texas Observer.

What, Congressman Steve King Asks, Have Nonwhites Done for Civilization?, The New York Times. Your 2016 Republican party, ladies and gentlemen!

Please read this before you post another RIP on social media., Upworthy.

Expense Policies Are a Woman’s Problem, Dawn Bovasso on Medium. “Household expenses are not covered because expense policies (and IRS codes) are still biased toward men. Most of these policies were created when men were traveling, and women were home taking care of the kids. When the male leaders of this world travel, there is an embedded assumption that they have women at home maintaining the hearth, cooking their meals, taking care of their children, feeding their dogs, watering their plants. They do not need to pay for these services, because it is built in as part of the traditional family unit. They don’t need to pay for babysitting, though they do need drinks and they definitely cannot do their own laundry. You can get $30 for takeout if you work late (because your wife isn’t there to cook you dinner) or $30 for scotch if you want to drink your face off, but you can’t get $30 for a sitter (because your wife is at home with the kids).”

Confessions Of A Dishonest Slob: How The Haters Got Trump This Close To The White House, BuzzFeed.

Why I Want You to Notice That I’m Fat, Marie Claire.

Can a Woman’s Voice Ever Be Right?, New York Magazine.

Why Men Want to Marry Melanias and Raise Ivankas, The New York Times.

Frustrated You Can’t Find A Therapist? They’re Frustrated, Too, NPR.

Getting Rid Of Clothes I Hated Helped Me Love My Body, BuzzFeed. This is SO good!

Getting UnREAL About Race, MTV.com. Ugh, UnReal is not great this season, and this last episode was just extra.

The Psychology of Why Americans Are Afraid of Historically Low Crime Levels, New York Mag.

How Has Jeff Goldblum Gotten Even Hotter?, ELLE.com. “Here’s the problem with Jeff Goldblum: He has a long history of surprise hotness that is seriously destabilizing. Like, you show up to a movie thinking, ‘I like Jeff Goldblum. His line delivery is pretty quirky. He acts well. Nice guy.’ And then, all of a sudden, he shows up giving you swarthy realness and you’re like, ‘What movie is this again? Am I at home watching Cinemax? I’m going to need to take a moment right here in this Regal theater.'” I meannnnnnnn….

Finally, please read this story.

Loving

This tweet, this kid, this moment of black joy, and this fur-lined robe (even though it’s the hottest week of the summer — I’ll definitely be buying one as soon as the temperature drops).

The week ahead…

Taking it off, actually — I have some non-BF writing I want to work on and a shit-ton of PTO that I need to take, so that’s my plan!

The week in review

July 17, 2016

ice cream

selfie

embroidery

After three weekends away and two extra-horrible weeks in the world, it was really good to just hunker down at home this weekend. There was embroidery and Orange is the New Black and UnReal and no pants and no bra and a little yoga and a bit of bourbon and some Snapchat and some Pokémon Go.

Here are some other highlights from the past two weeks…

Writing

10 Life-Changing Things To Try In July

Reading

I read Where’d You Go Bernadette? (fine, light, but I thought the ending lacked payoff) and So Sad Today (really related to the essay about the Internet…could not have related less to the rest of it) and started reading Girls on Fire today.

As for links…

Marie Kondo and the Ruthless War on Stuff, The New York Times. One of my favorites from the past few weeks.

Our Fancy Foods, Ourselves, Eater. I LOVED this.

The Tamir Rice Story: How to Make a Police Shooting Disappear, GQ.

How Real Was Taylor Swift’s Fourth of July Party? An Investigation, Vulture.

Behold Your Newest Silver-Screen Sex Goddess, Jane Neighbor, The New Yorker.

Pokémon Go isn’t a fad. It’s a beginning., Vox.

Absurd propaganda postcards warning men about the dangers of women’s rights, early 1900s, Dangerous Minds. Wow, where did they get all these photos of me?

Outlander’s costume designer on her job in the “women’s ghetto”, A.V. Club. This is SO GOOD.

The Atlanta Braves Borrowed Their Parking Scam From Dan Snyder, Deadspin. UGGGGHHHH THIS MOTHER FUCKER RIGHT HERE.

How a $2 Roadside Drug Test Sends Innocent People to Jail, The New York Times. This was the first thing I read Monday morning after my news break last weekend and JFC it was a rough one to start with.

How Many Black People Can You Mourn In One Week?, BuzzFeed. Really beautiful piece by my coworker/friend Hannah. “Today I sit alone in a Toronto hotel room, working far away from all the people I love most. But my friends are my anchors, and I am not alone. From every corner of the continent, of the world, black people hold me. We hold each other. We carry our community with love, with a commitment to disregard every message that says we are unworthy.”

Am I Going to Write About Murdered Black People Forever?, Jezebel.

Why One Woman Pretended to Be a High-School Cheerleader, The Atlantic.

Who Is The Tiny House Revolution For?, BuzzFeed.

Black Women in the Spotlight, The Atlantic.

All the Reasons the Rio Olympics Are Fucked, Gawker.

Raising my fist at the Olympics cost me friends and my marriage — but I’d do it again, Vox.

The White Man in That Photo, Films for Action. Definitely cried on the subway reading this.

Gymnastics Hair: A Retrospective, The Gymternet.

How Misandrist Are You?, BuzzFeed. An oldie but a goodie.

We regret to inform you that the remainder of 2016 has been cancelled, by Kimberly Harrington on Medium.

Hunger Makes Me, Hazlitt.

PokéStop In The Name Of Love, MTV.com.

What Do You See When You Look at This Cover?, ELLE.com.

On Making Black Lives Matter, Marie Claire.

Ask a Former Drunk: How Do You Start Sobriety?, Jezebel. “One of the brilliant concepts of AA is the notion of ‘one day at a time.’ Probably like me, you hate cliches. Using them, living by them, becoming them. So the words ‘one day at a time’ might make you cringe, because they sound like something framed in an old person’s bathroom, the words written in unsophisticated cursive and laid over a portrait of a tangerine sunset. Part of being young is being in thrall to cleverness, so anything with the whiff of a Hallmark card tends to make us recoil. Never mind that so much beauty and joy in the world rises and falls on the backs of cliches. I love you. Help me. I’m sorry. Never mind what a tired cliche it is, to be another young person drinking their promise away, trying to mold themselves into the heroes who either died or got sober long ago. Look, I get it: Cliches suck. But understand this: Sometimes cliches work.” This is a great read regardless of whether you struggle with addiction. 

Loving

These shorts from J. Crew Factory (I have three pairs; two in white — which is not available in the 3″ length online — and one in mint green, which is also not available online), this pin, Nate Parker, this thread on Trump and this one on Pence, this tweet and this one, and Kate McKinnon in Ghostbusters.

The week ahead…

One day at a time.

The week in review

July 10, 2016

On Thursday evening, I headed up to Rhode Island for what turned out to be an incredibly lovely weekend at my pal Alanna’s parents’ beach house. When we arrived, amidst what felt like a never-ending news cycle of doom and garbage, I made the choice to just step away from Twitter/the news all weekend in the interest of self-care.

During the three days we were there, the five of us (along with Alanna’s wonderful parents) walked on the beach, played games, ate ice cream, listened to music, went out for breakfast at a diner where the waitresses wore T-shirts that said “Jam out with your clam out,” spent a large amount of time on the screened-in porch, discussed ways to overturn the patriarchy, did a puzzle, sang oldies and Britney, watched Best in Show, drank cocktails and wine, made s’mores, ate grilled salmon and so much other delicious food, visited a farm and determined that emus are terrifying AF (like, they are basically just dinosaurs), talked about books and writing, told slutty stories, did face masks, slept with all the windows open, laughed so hard we couldn’t stop, and spent a whole lot of time with some chill-ass and adorable dogs. I also took the best shower of my life in the outdoor shower at the house. (Seriously, when they told me it was amazing, I was skeptical, as I hate showering. But it was totally a game changer. Why can’t all showers be that good?!) The weather was super overcast and actually on the cooler side all weekend, but we still had a great time and within a day, I found myself feeling more chill and content than I have in months.

shore 3

pups

fire 3

Be kind to yourselves this week, fam. <3

The week in review

July 4, 2016

cocktail

This week was weird…it was made up of four days that were decidedly not Friday even though all of them felt very much like Friday. But this weekend I washed my bras for the first time in God knows how long, got to hang out with some of my oldest and best friends, and discovered the booze aisle at Costco while on a trip to Washington, D.C. So things really turned around for me, is what I’m saying.

Here are some other quick highlights…

Reading

On Gaslighting Nora Samaran. This. Is. So. Damn. Good.

The Humiliating Practice of Sex-Testing Female Athletes, The New York Times.

Justin Timberlake Has Gotten Away With Cultural Appropriation for Years Now, Cosmpolitan.com.

Britain’s Completely Batshit Week Since Brexit, Explained For Americans, BuzzFeed.

‘The Devil Wears Prada’ Turns 10: Meryl Streep, Anne Hathaway and Emily Blunt Tell All, Variety.

27 Idris Elba Pictures To Help You Get Through The Day, BuzzFeed.

A Note on The Toast, by Hillary Clinton on The Toast. “As we look back at what this site has meant to so many of you, I hope you’ll also look forward and consider how you might make your voice heard in whatever arenas matter most to you. Speak your opinion more fervently in your classes if you’re a student, or at meetings in your workplace. Proudly take credit for your ideas. Have confidence in the value of your contributions. And if the space you’re in doesn’t have room for your voice, don’t be afraid to carve out a space of your own. You never know — you might just be the next Nicole Cliffe, Mallory Ortberg or Nikki Chung.” *sobs*

I also gave up on The Empathy Exams and started Where’d You Go, Bernadette? which I’m really enjoying so far.

The week ahead…

A very short week, as I’m heading out of town again for a long weekend!

The week in review

June 26, 2016

This week, we threw a surprise conference room wedding shower for my coworker Julie on Tuesday, and then drove up to Kerhonkson, NY on Friday afternoon for her wedding!

brooklyn cider house

selfie

flowers

While we had some, uh, concerns with our Airbnb (mainly that it seemed — and I do not say this jokingly — like the likelihood that we’d get murdered there was…above average) and the hotel we switched to left some things to be desired (fine on paper but somehow just…creepy AF), it was such a good trip. We had a great day in New Paltz on Saturday, and the wedding that evening was a blast. The venue (Rustic Ridge View Farm) was beautiful, the weather was great, and the DJ was awesome. There were there were horses with braids and flowers in their manes, plus Funfetti cake and a nacho cheese fountain. And there was a delicious thyme lemonade that got us drunk enough to dance like no one was watching without us actually wishing in hindsight that no one had been watching! It was great.

Here’s what else I was up to this week…

Reading

My Four Months as a Private Prison Guard: A Mother Jones Investigation, Mother Jones. This week’s must-read.

#589: Tell Me I’m Fat, This American Life. (Not technically a read, but ya know. Listen to it though — it’s great!)

Jack Daniel’s Embraces a Hidden Ingredient: Help From a Slave, The New York Times.

The Mystifying Triumph of Hope Hicks, Donald Trump’s Right-Hand Woman, GQ.

How an Ad Campaign Made Lesbians Fall in Love with Subaru, Priceonomics.

Inside Facebook’s Totally Adorable, Kind of Racist Mixed Race Baby Community, Broadly.

We Need To Talk About The Invisible Cost Of Abortion Clinic Violence, The Huffington Post.

The mind-clearing magic of Japan’s pen-and-paper “planner culture”, Quartz.

“The Best Revenge is Your Paper”: Notes on Women’s Work, Los Angeles Review of Books. I actually started this book a couple months ago and maybe should finish it.

What Happened to Kate Lanphear’s Maxim?, Jezebel.

The Sound of Music Is in His Blood and Now His Heart, The New York Times. I don’t…I can’t…I just…what?????

I’m also still reading The Empathy Exams but I’m kind of struggling with it and it’s due back at the library soon, so I may just need to move on.

The week ahead…

Super excited for the long holiday weekend!

The week in review

June 19, 2016

glasses

Photo: Taylor Miller / BuzzFeed

Hello, hello! Here’s what I was up to this week…

Writing

10 Life-Changing Things You Should Take To The Beach

5 Big-Batch Drinks That Will Get Your Bridal Shower Guests Drunk AF (HIGHLY recommend The Deflower Girl Punch…it’s amazingly delicious!)

How My Glasses Showed Me That I’m My Father’s Daughter

And though I don’t tend to get very meta about my writing these days, I thought I’d share some of the backstory on the glasses piece!

I actually started it at the beginning of March for BuzzFeed’s Body Week. The first draft was very, very light on details about my dad — I summed up basically everything that was in the final essay in a single, vague sentence — and upon reading it, my lovely editor and friend Rachel said that I either needed to really unpack that stuff, or I needed to leave it out completely and make it a light essay that was more about my identity as a glasses-wearer and my failed Lasik. Unsure that I could pull off the first one, I decided to write a draft of each version and see which one was better. So I did. The second one was much heavier on my tween and early teen years, when I wore cat-eyed glasses (which were so hard to find at the time that I had to special order them via my eye doctor’s catalogue), and included a lot of stuff about how the guy I had a crush on constantly made fun of them. I sent both versions to Rachel, and after reading them, she gently but firmly encouraged me to dig deep and do the harder one. I know she sensed my hesitation and she made it clear that I didn’t have to do it, but she said (rightly) that if I was going to do it, it was worth really doing it. So that’s what I decided to do, even though I knew it wouldn’t be easy for me.

By the time I was rounding third on finishing that version, it had become apparent to both Rachel and me that it didn’t totally fit in with a theme week that had by then been re-named Body Positivity Week, and I had another big piece going up for BPW anyway. So we decided to hold it for Father’s Day. After continuing with edits throughout may, it was pretty close to done when we shot the photos the week of June 6th. (Which…ended up being a pretty emotional experience for me, particular when we got to the letters. There had been a bunch of back and forth about The Jolly Postman story because I had started to worry that I was remembering it wrong, but then I opened that letter, realized what it was, and learned that I was remembering it completely accurately, which was really cool to discover. But just in general, it was an emotional afternoon.) I added the edited photos to the post on Thursday, and Rachel and I played around with the placement of each one, but the photo we had at the end of the essay (a shot of me holding my dad’s glasses) just didn’t feel like it was really resonating. I thought we needed a photo that either showed my dad and me together in our glasses…something that perhaps exists somewhere in a photo album, but not in any of the photos I have scanned. So at the end of the day Friday, I asked Taylor, the photographer, if he could quickly shoot the two pairs of glasses side by side on Monday. He obliged and we got the shot on Monday morning. I’m really glad we decided to re-shoot.

Tuesday morning, the day the essay was scheduled to be published, I was really anxious about it. I started to doubt whether or not it even worked, whether being vulnerable and talking about things that I had literally never told anyone was even going to be worth it. I think I had just been working on it for so long that I’d sort of lost sight of the big picture. I knew I was probably being unreasonable and trusted Rachel when she said it was ready to go, which was the right choice. I’m really glad it went out into the world this week.

Here’s what else I had going on this week…

Reading

First, on Orlando:

Please Don’t Stop the Music, The Nation.

Only When I’m Dancing Can I Feel This Free, MTV.com. “For those who let the rhythm get ’em, dancing has a particular significance. Shunned by friends, thrown out of their homes, banished to metaphorical cities on the plain, they find on crowded dance floors a sense of fellowship that is no less deep for being ephemeral. And, no, rhythm isn’t even required — that’s the point. We’re figuring ourselves out in those spaces, a beer at a time, yielding to that frisson triggered by a passing glance, a smile at the bar, an unexpected nudge on the floor itself. ”

26 Things Queer People Actually Want To Hear After Orlando, BuzzFeed.

This sad Twitter thread.

America’s gun problem has everything to do with America’s masculinity problem, Quartz. “Buying a gun isn’t a rational decision; it’s an emotional one.”

To Stop Violence, Start at Home, The New York Times. “An analysis of the criminal justice history of hundreds of thousands of offenders in Washington State suggests that a felony domestic violence conviction is the single greatest predictor of future violent crime among men. With so much at stake, responding to violence against women should be a top priority for everyone. Research tells us that violence is a learned behavior.”

Thou Shalt Kill, Gawker. “Most people, good guys or not, do not need or deserve the power to kill other people. People are confused or bad-tempered or careless or impulsive, especially under stress. They get mad about a stupid, forgettable traffic dispute and shoot somebody. They get scared by a knock at the door and shoot somebody. They get angry at their spouse or partner and decide to shoot them. They get excited about seeing a shoplifter and try to execute the shoplifter by spraying gunfire with innocent bystanders all around on a parking lot. They lose track of where they’ve left their guns until a child finds one and shoots itself, or shoots another child. Or, most often of all, they shoot themselves, making a fleeting impulse into an irrevocable decision.”

What gun control advocates can learn from the abolitionists who helped end slavery., Slate.

Donald Trump’s Exploitation of Orlando, The New Yorker. “It feels indecent on such a day to engage these comments of Trump’s at all. But their velocity, vapidity, and sheer ugliness reflect his character, his emptiness, and, most of all, the shape of the election campaign to come. Since Trump has ascended, it’s been clear that his demagogic instincts could be tested precisely by the sort of tragedy suffered in Orlando. And, when faced with the path of modesty and the path of dark opportunism, he has chosen the latter. That’s what he is about. It’s who he is.”

Now We Have Seen The Epitome of Anti-Gay Hatred, Gawker.

These Are Some Of The Heroes Of The Orlando Shooting, BuzzFeed.

Onto the rest of the garbage world we live in…

Kim Kardashian West on Kanye and Taylor Swift, What’s in O.J.’s Bag, and Understanding Caitlyn, GQ.

Interview With a Woman Who Recently Had an Abortion at 32 Weeks, Jezebel.

Sisterhood of the Traveling Safe Spaces, The Hairpin.

Hillary Supporters Can Now ‘Be Public’ on Facebook, The New York Times.

The Conservative Case for Hillary Clinton, Texas Monthly.

Choosing a School for My Daughter in a Segregated City, The New York Times. This writer came in and talked to a group of us at BuzzFeed about her incredible article on school segregation (an absolute must-read) and briefly mentioned how much she and her husband were struggling with this, so I was really pleased to read about what they ultimately chose.

A journalist went to a Donald Trump rally yesterday and came back shocked. Here are his tweets, Political Scrapbook. Trigger warning for…garbage people.

Why ‘Transcending Race’ Is a Lie, The New York Times. I loved this. 

An Open Letter to the Female Hat-Wearing Dog From “Go Dog, Go”, The Ugly Volvo.

Thinking About Hillary, Michael Arnovitz on Medium. This is excellent. 

Stop. Using. Periods. Period., The Washington Post.

My Heart Belongs to ‘Daddy’, NY Mag. 

How to Cover Donald Trump Fairly: A Style Guide, Washington Post.

Maybe the word “rapist” is a problem: The utility of nouns and verbs, or accepting who we are and what we do, Salon. I…did not expect this to be as good as it was.

Hi America, British Politics Went Completely Mad Today, BuzzFeed.

Meet Tumblr’s 15-Year-Old Secret Keeper, The New York Times.

I also finally started reading The Empathy Exams this week! 

Entertained by

O.J.: Made in America (seriously, watch it!), the new season of Orange is the New Black, my coworker Sylvia on Another Round (episode #59), and This amazing Father’s Day twitter thread.

The week ahead…

Heading to a wedding!

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